


The Distance Between

by ofcorsetstrash



Series: Between [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Age Difference, Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crack Treated Seriously, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Identity Porn, Immortality, Non-Linear Narrative, Not What It Looks Like, Redemption, Skywalker Family Feels, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Trans Poe Dameron, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:51:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofcorsetstrash/pseuds/ofcorsetstrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Starkiller is haunted, you know. Construction crew go missing, tools aren't where they were left. Doors open and shut on their own. Footsteps echo down empty hallways…”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>Another trooper leaned over to join the conversation. “I heard that it’s the ghost of the 501st. Darth Vader himself walks these halls…”</em></p><p> </p><p>Or, the events of The Force Awakens play out a little differently when you've got what's left of Anakin Skywalker haunting Starkiller Base.</p><p> </p><p>Interestingly, this work can be read on its own. The only thing you need to know before you dive in is that Kylo sensed Finn's sensitivity about 3 and a half years ago and has been low-key (haha not really who are we kidding) training him ever since. They are actually... pretty good friends?</p><p>The rest you'll probably figure out about 3-4 seconds after Han Solo does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Here At The End Of All Things

**Author's Note:**

> So... I just noticed that although most of this series can be read in any order, this one, The Distance Between, should be read either very first or very last. Otherwise you will be very confused. SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Leia!_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> In the middle of tightening the seams on the vaporator, Leia dropped the clamps, her hands gone limp without her permission. They thudded into the sand she knelt in, and Uncle Owen looked up, his face suddenly pale.
> 
>  
> 
> “Leia?” he asked. “Are you alright?”
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _Leia? Can you hear me?_  
>   
> 
> Leia looked up, the sky bright above her, but even higher the flashes of a battle darted back and forth. She’d been curious to see Imperials so close to Tatooine, but a lead weight settled in her stomach now as she realized why she felt like Luke was nearer than usual.
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> __  
> _Luke?_  
>   
>   
> 
> His relief could be felt through their bond.
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> __  
> __  
> _Leia, I need your help. You’re our only hope…_  
>   
>   
>   
> 
> She saw sterile hallways flooded with smoke, tasted Luke’s fear as he realized defeat was inevitable, felt his fingers shake as he transferred the plans to Artoo. The plans that Leia needed to find, needed to keep from the hands of the tall, black figure that warped darkness around him…
> 
>  
> 
> “Leia?”
> 
>  
> 
> At last, she looked up at Uncle Owen. He looked terrified, shaken. Leia had never seen him so frightened. Not even when confronting Tuskens or hunting krayt dragons.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’m alright,” she said, reaching out and taking his hand. “Sorry. I… I’m fine.”
> 
>  
> 
> He nodded. “What happened?”
> 
>  
> 
> “It’s Luke… he needs my help.”
> 
>  
> 
> Uncle Owen set his jaw and nodded again, more sure this time. “If your brother needs you, then… we’d better get you on your way.”

Stepping forward, out of the darkness, Rey tugged her goggles and mask off, squinting in the bright sunlight. She opened her canteen and upended it, not minding the few lukewarm drops that trickled down her chin. Most made it into her parched mouth. She closed her mouth and moved the moisture around, trying for every little bit of relief.

 

Rey stacked herself and her satchel on the little sled, smiling a little to herself as she slid down the hill.

 

_ Hold on tight, Rey! _

 

The speeder sputtered across the salt flats, baked under a relentless sun for countless years. Nothing lived out here that didn’t have to.

 

At Niima outpost, Rey hauled her sack over to one of the covered stalls. Even though the shade was hardly cooler, the relief from the harsh white light felt nice. She seated herself and let herself focus on the task of cleaning her salvages from the day.

 

_ Be gentle with it, Rey. You don’t want to break the little delicate parts. Here, I’ll show you where it goes in the engine… _

 

Rey stared up at the window. Behind it, Unkar Plutt looked over the pieces she had brought with a critical eye.

 

He scowled at her. “What you’ve brought me today is worth… hmm… one-quarter portion.”

 

Rey nodded in thanks as she took the little packet of rations, doing her best to hide her disappointment.

 

_ Try some of mine, Rey. Here, I’ll share with you. _

 

It wasn’t really home, not when she was the only one there. It was a place to exist for a while, at most. Rey etched another mark on the rusty wall. Another mark, another day. Quietly, she prepared her small meal.

 

_ Never take even the little things for granted. Every day is a gift. _

 

She tucked her handmade doll under her arm and carried it outside with her plate to eat. The sun was just over the edge of the hills, bleeding pink and purple light over the dunes and the sky. Rey sat the doll on her lap while she ate, hunger making her indelicate. She licked the plate clean, grateful for each crumb. After tossing the plate to one side, she leaned back against the AT-AT. She dumped the sand from an old flight helmet and set it on her head, holding the doll close as she gazed up at the contrails of ships. The doll was a little bit lumpy, and the arms and legs weren’t symmetrical, but she had made it herself from the stuffing of old seat-cushions in a wrecked freighter.

 

_ It looks just like me! It’s perfect, Rey. _

  
She blinked up at the sky, at the first few stars shining through the evening. She could hear whispers from them, a distant song. Soon, she felt. They’d be back soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin peeked around the corner into Watto’s junkshop. He loved going through all of the bits and pieces of things that passed through the tiny place. Sometimes he would hold them and try to feel where they came from, how far the wires and chips and scraps of metal had traveled to reach this dusty forgotten corner of the galaxy.
> 
> “ _Ani!_ ” Watto yelled from behind the counter, scratching at the scruff on his face. “ _What are you doing lurking there!_ ” The Toydarian said in Huttese. “ _You are going to scare away the customers, staring at them like that._ ”
> 
> Anakin stepped forward, his hands itching to touch a 55-32 pulse propeller sitting on a nearby shelf. “ _I don’t see any customers, Watto._ ”
> 
> “ _Because you scare them all away,_ ” he griped. “ _What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be studying something?_ ”
> 
> “ _Mom said I could have a break,_ ” Anakin tried to look as innocent as possible. “ _I was hoping I could help you with the shop._ ” He caved in to his desires and ran a single finger along the propeller as gently as he could.
> 
> “ _Don’t touch that, you’ll break it,_ ” Watto wheezed. “ _I guess if you really want to help, you could go clean out the scrap bin._ ”
> 
> Anakin grinned so hard his face hurt, all but climbing up the counter to hug Watto in gratitude. “ _Really? I can help?_ ”
> 
> The Toydarian shooed him away. “ _Ugh. You’re lucky I owe your mother so much._ ”
> 
> Anakin beamed. “ _You love me. Admit it._ ”
> 
> Watto scowled, but Anakin knew it was because he was right. “ _Remember, Ani, if anyone comes in-_ ”
> 
> “ _I remember,_ ” grinned Anakin. “ _You’re mean and cranky and beat me all the time._ ”
> 
>  
> 
> “ _That’s right. A businessman needs to preserve his reputation, after all._ ”
> 
>  
> 
> It seemed he’d only been out scrubbing for a few minutes when he heard Watto calling for him. “ _Get in here, boy! Now!_ ”
> 
>  
> 
> Quickly, Anakin wiped his hands on his clothes and ran into the shop, doing his best not to smile but to seem appropriately meek. He even flinched when Watto raised his hand. It was a nice touch, he thought, but Watto didn’t seem to notice.
> 
>  
> 
> “ _What took you so long?_ ”
> 
>  
> 
> “ _I was cleaning the bin like you-_ ”
> 
>  
> 
> “ _Nevermind!_ ” Watto snapped. “ _Watch the store. I’ve got some selling to do._ ” He turned to a tall human with long greying hair and a beard. “Let me take you out back, yes? We’ll find what it is you need.”
> 
>    
> Anakin watched the others that lingered in the dusty shop, two more humans and a droid. He kept his mind open, just in case any of them had any thoughts about stealing from the shop. Which reminded him of a joke Watto had told him about keeping his mind open. What was the, what did he call it, punchline?  
>  
> 
> The two humans were really pretty, actually. One of them was taller, with red-brown hair cut short except for a long, thin braid to one side and silvery eyes. The other was daintier, with very long, glossy brown hair, looking around at the shop with intelligent observation.  
>  
> 
> Anakin was eager to talk to these two beautiful creatures. “Are the two of you angels?”  
>  
> 
> They both looked surprised, then the shorter one smiled while the taller one’s face went pink. “Are we what?” the shorter one asked.  
>  
> 
> “Angels,” Anakin repeated. “I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the Moons of Iego I think. They are good and kind, and so pretty they make even the most hardened spice pirate cry.”  
>  
> 
> The taller one made a slightly choked sound. “I’m afraid we’re not angels. We’re just human.”  
>  
> 
> “Oh, well, I just thought the two of you might be angels, since you’re the most beautiful humans I’ve ever met. Are you in love with each other?”  
>  
> 
> The taller one’s face turned red and looked away. The one with dark hair smiled, eyes alight. “Do you not meet very many humans, then?”  
>    
> Anakin shrugged. “Not a whole lot. I’m a real human, though. Definitely not a fake human. And my name’s Anakin.”


	2. Perfect Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually think you were stupid enough to get caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “If compassion is the way of the Jedi,” young Anakin mused aloud. He often voiced strange thoughts when he should have been meditating. “And passion leads to the Dark side…” He looked up at Obi-Wan. “What if someone is passionately compassionate? Is that Light side or Dark side?”
> 
> Obi-Wan stared at him for a moment and then slowly breathed in. And then out. That was always Anakin’s favorite reaction.

“This will begin to make things right,” said the old man, pressing the small leather bag into Poe’s hand. “I’ve traveled too far, and seen too much.”

 

Worried that the kindly gentleman was going to go on another rambling recollection of his past adventures, Poe leaned forward just a little. “Well, thanks to you, we have a chance. I know the General is eager to get her hands on this.”

 

Lor San Tekka chuckled and shook his head. “The General…” He grinned at Poe with mirth in his eyes. “Have you ever asked her how she earned that rank?”

 

“Um… no?”

 

“Maybe you should, sometime. It’s quite the story.”

 

The strands of wooden beads clacked together as BB-8 came rolling into the little house, beeping frantically.

 

_ :Incoming ships! Incoming ships, Poe!: _

 

“We’ve got company,” Poe said. They stood, all but scrambling out of the house. Poe raised his ‘noculars to see what BB-8 was so upset about. Maybe they were neutral ships. Maybe they were on edge for nothing...

 

But of course Poe had no such luck. Those were definitely First Order transports skittering over the horizon. He turned to the old man. “You have to hide,” he said.

 

“You have to leave,” Lor San Tekka responded. “Go!”

 

Poe hesitated. He didn’t want to leave the man defenceless, but if the First Order got a hold of this map, well… Poe  _ couldn’t _ fail this mission. The approaching ships made the ground rumble under his feet as he finally nodded farewell and took off through the village.

 

The shadowy forms of the villagers rushed around him, and he heard more than one blaster rifle being loaded and readied. Damn the First Order. How did they even know to look here?

 

Suddenly, blaster fire rained around him. Poe ducked, ran faster, even as he heard the screams start. He didn’t dare look back as he finally made it to his X-wing on the outskirts.

 

“Come on, BB-8! Hurry!”

 

Just as they both climbed into place, just as the lights came on, the ship rocked, the thud of the hit sending Poe’s head spinning.

 

_ :Troopers coming this way!: _

 

“I see ‘em!” Poe confirmed. It was easy enough to get rid of them with the anti-personnel blaster, but when Poe tried to start the engines, they only made a sad sputtering sound.

 

“Damn!” he whispered fervently, clambering down from the cockpit and around to the back. He stared at the heavy damage to his X-wing, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

“BB-8, come here…”

 

Quickly, the little droid left his slot and rolled over to Poe, worried beeps still escaping into the smoky air. Poe knelt down next to BB-8, pulling the strange artifact out of the leather bag.

 

“You take this,” Poe ordered as he slipped the map to BB-8. “It’s safer with you than it is with me. You get as far from here as you can, you hear me?”

 

BB-8 hesitated.  _ :But… but Poe…: _

 

“I’ll come back for you,” Poe tried to reassure the droid. “It’ll be alright…”

 

One of the hardest things to do was turn away at that moment, Poe thought, to run from his little buddy sitting there in the sand. Poe took a deep breath, told himself that BB-8 would be alright. He settled himself behind some crates and pulled out a blaster.

 

Only a couple of troopers fell to his shots before he noticed them falling back, dragging captive villagers with them. They were regrouping? Was this really over so fast? Carefully, Poe snuck around the crates, picked his way over blood-soaked sand, trying to figure out what was going on.

 

It didn’t take long. Soon enough he found the cleared ring of firelight and troopers. And in the center…

 

“Great,” Poe muttered under his breath. “This asshole again.”

 

It had been a couple years since that… negotiation? But the tall, imposing figure of Kylo Ren looked exactly the same. More intimidating now, actually, surrounded by flames and smoke. Last time, Poe hadn’t really taken the guy seriously. It was hard to take a black-cloaked drama queen seriously on a bright day in a flowery meadow during what was supposed to be a fairly normal negotiation. But Poe still remembered how easily Kylo Ren had picked him up by the throat with one hand. The half-assed Darth Vader knock-off was more dangerous than he looked.

 

Lor San Tekka knelt there in the sand, held down before Kylo Ren by stormtroopers. The old man raised his chin and stared down the Knight with a defiance that Poe could only hope to achieve someday in the future.

 

“I will die first,” Lor San Tekka said clearly, his voice carrying over the sound of crackling flames.

 

There were about two seconds of silence before Kylo Ren nodded. “You will.”

 

The instant red light spilled from Kylo Ren’s hand, Poe felt himself moving. Apparently his conscience couldn’t just sit back and let Lor San Tekka die. As the Knight raised his lightsaber, Poe drew his blaster and fired. His aim was perfect, centered dead on Kylo Ren’s chest. Anyone else would have been dead.

 

In a blink, Kylo Ren flicked his lightsaber, swatting away Poe’s shot like an annoying insect. Poe saw the redirected shot fly, with either ridiculous accuracy or terrible luck, to knock a weapon out of the hands of a startled stormtrooper.

 

Poe would have gaped more, but the next breath he tried to pull into his lungs didn’t come very easily at all. He grabbed at his throat, panicking, trying to get air even as he felt himself dragged across the sand, his feet trailing behind him. The ground slammed into him, or maybe he slammed into the ground, and when Poe was finally able to open his eyes, he rather wished he hadn’t. He really didn’t like that mask. Leia had even told him that Kylo didn’t really need it - that he was just dramatic - after their last encounter. Once again, he wondered how she knew.

 

Poe stared up at the harsh black mask. “So… do you talk first? Do I talk first?” Damn. He always defaulted to sarcasm when stressed. It was a failing, really.

 

“My apologies,” said the hulking figure. “I was just in a state of minor shock. I didn’t think you were actually stupid enough to let me capture you, Captain Dameron.”

 

“It’s Commander, now.” Poe aimed for cocky smirk but only managed wheezy gasps.

 

“Congratulations on the promotion.” Kylo Ren stood. “Search him,” he snapped at the troopers. Poe grimaced as he was roughly hauled to his feet. The troopers weren’t exactly gentle, either.

 

“Careful with the goods,” Poe muttered under his breath.

 

“He has nothing on him, sir,” said one of the troopers.

 

“Put them both on board,” Kylo Ren snarled. Poe glanced over. At least he hadn’t gotten captured for nothing. Lor San Tekka looked hardly worse for wear, but frightened a bit as they were both hauled up the gangplank.

 

“You fool,” the old man breathed. “What have you done?”

 

“No talking!” barked one of their guards.

 

Poe guessed he would have to wait, then, to reassure Lor San Tekka that the map was safe. Mostly safe. Not here. Much safer than Poe was, at least.

  
He desperately hoped that BB-8 had made it far enough away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Why wish you to become a Jedi?"
> 
> "Mostly because of my father, I guess."
> 
> Yoda gave Leia a shrewd look. "Ah," he said slowly. "A powerful Jedi, was he. Very powerful."
> 
> "Please," Leia said, bowing as best she could manage in the tiny hut that Yoda lived in. "Master Yoda, I've wanted this my whole life. Please teach me."
> 
> Yoda frowned, looked away from her to poke at his small fire. "I cannot teach her. Too sensitive she is."
> 
>  _She is learning control._ Leia startled at the sound of Old Ben's voice in her ears.
> 
> "Too much like Anakin, she is," Yoda countered. "Compromised, you are, Obi-Wan, by your feelings. Again. You wish to repeat your mistakes?"
> 
> _We need her. The galaxy needs her._
> 
> "No," Yoda insisted. "Repeat the past, we cannot. Surprised I am at you. Anything, you would give this young one, if she asked."
> 
> _I fear that she is the only hope we have left. She is the only one who can defeat Darth Vader._
> 
> "Master Yoda," Leia interjected, her voice careful. "If you teach me, I know I can do this."


	3. Chain Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange things are happening. Have happened. Will happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I thought this was a rescue mission!”
> 
> The clone trooper gave a nervous chuckle. “You’ll learn pretty quick that under General Skywalker's command you are _always_ on the offensive.”

“Sir,” said Captain Phasma, striding across the desert sand. “The villagers.”

 

Kylo Ren hesitated, but only for a moment. “I have what I need,” he snapped, waving a hand dismissively. “Do what you want.”

 

“Very well, sir,” Phasma responded, inclining her head slightly. “FT-0250,” she addressed her lieutenant. “Round up the troops and get them back on the shuttles. We’re done here.”

 

“Yes, captain.”

 

FN-2187 stood still, rooted to the spot. It couldn’t possibly already be over. Slip was dead, had died in his arms. There were probably others of his squad dead, too. It was hard to say for sure, though. Eight-Seven hadn’t been able to tell the villagers from his comrades when he felt their lives end. Just sudden little silences.

 

With a start, Eight-Seven realized that Kylo Ren was staring at him, across the sand, the Knight standing perfectly still.  _ What do you see when you look at me like that? _ Eight-Seven wondered.

 

He wasn’t really expecting a response, but after a few moments, one drifted into his mind, anyway.  _ Your armor. _ Kylo’s mental voice was barely more than a whisper.  _ It isn’t so shiny, anymore. _ An image. What Kylo Ren saw in that moment. Eight-Seven standing there, streaks of red across his mask. He hadn’t noticed, before, that he was wearing Slip’s blood. With a shudder, Eight-Seven made his way on shaky legs back to the transport.

 

The ride back to the  _ Finalizer _ was quiet, which usually Eight-Seven would have been fine with. Now, though, he could feel the other ‘troopers playing over the battle in their minds, or trying to avoid doing so. Loops of thoughts, stuck on repeat.

 

_ Maybe if I had gone left instead of right… _

 

_ Guess those training simulations aren’t much like the real thing. I didn’t know all the blood would smell like that… _

 

_ What am I even doing here? I can’t make a difference. Not this way. If it wasn’t me it’d be someone else… _

 

_ I keep trying, but I always fail…  _

 

_ General? _

 

_ Sorry, Rex. I’m fine. _

 

_ We’re approaching Teth, sir. _

 

_ Good. The sooner we get Rotta back, the better. _

 

_ Yes, General Skywalker. _

 

Eight-Seven broke out of his trance with a start. Muscle memory, it seemed, had helped him disembark the transport with the others, but now he felt like he was drowning, swirls of memories not his own crowded up against his mind. He broke from the loose formation, hoping to find a quiet corner to compose himself.

 

An empty transport seemed a good enough place. Eight-Seven pulled his helmet off, the air cooling the sweat on his face, making him shiver even harder.  _ Calm down. Just… calm down. _

 

Almost without thinking of it, his mind led him through one of the breathing exercises that Kylo Ren had taught him.  _ They don’t always work for me, but you’re made of sturdier stuff. These can help you focus… _

 

Eight-Seven felt Captain Phasma walk up behind him. He didn’t even dare turn around. She’d be so mad. He was so far out of line he might as well be a curve.

 

“FN-2187, submit your blaster for inspection.”

 

“Yes, captain,” Eight-Seven nodded, trying to swallow.

 

“And who gave you permission to remove that helmet?”

 

Eight-Seven considered lying for a second, knew he could say that Kylo Ren gave him permission. But… no. “Sorry, captain.” He turned and saluted Phasma, but she didn’t seem impressed.

 

“Report to my division at once.”

 

She spun on her heel and marched away. With shaking hands, Eight-Seven put the helmet back on, but it felt smaller than before, like it was suffocating him.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Darkness was all Poe could see when he opened his eyes. Not the best thing to wake up to, he supposed, but also not the worst. All of his muscles hurt, and his joints felt cramped and stiff. He licked his lips and tasted blood.

 

“The First Order is honored to have such an illustrious  _ ace pilot _ as a guest,” drawled a strange, mechanized voice in the darkness. “Comfortable?”

 

“Not really.” Poe shuddered as he tried to shift his weight in a way that didn’t hurt.

 

“I must admit,” Kylo Ren continued, straightening from his hunched position. Poe was a little relieved that his eyes were adjusting. “I’m impressed. No one has been able to get out of you what it was you did with the map.”

 

“Might wanna rethink your technique,” Poe spat. He was shivering, now. How long had he been here? He couldn’t seem to keep track of time. It could have been minutes or days...

 

“I don’t normally handle prisoner interrogation.” The words oozed out of the mask, heavy, like Kylo had been chewing on them for a while, rendering them thick and mutilated.

 

Poe could barely unclench his teeth. “The Resistance will not be intimidated by you.”

 

“Oh, I am  _ well aware _ ,” the Knight said, stepping back just a little. “That the most I could hope for from  _ the Resistance _ would be a pity laugh.” He circled around, slunk behind the chair where Poe couldn’t see him, where words prickled the skin on the back of his neck. “ _ You, _ on the other hand… It would be devastatingly easy to  _ break _ you.”

 

“Consider this, Dameron,” Kylo Ren murmured as he slunk around the corners of the room, murky and horrible, crude oil pouring into Poe’s head. “Your precious Resistance knows where you are… but they won’t save you. I could send General Skywalker a holovid of your torture and she would do  _ nothing _ to stop it.” He loomed closer out of the shadows, and Poe couldn’t stop himself from flinching away, the cold reality of Kylo Ren’s words leaving dreadful, aching spaces in his bones. “No one is coming to rescue you. You are _alone_ …”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hux stood, calmly, just outside the door. As if he had simply decided to stop walking, and this is where he had just happened to do so. Icy glares seemed enough to keep any stormtroopers from staring, at least.

 

After a few minutes, the door behind him hissed open, and he very deliberately did not turn around to watch Kylo walk towards him.

 

“Did you get anything out of him?” Hux asked the empty air in front of him just before it was occupied by Kylo Ren, who shook his helmeted head.

 

“Nothing. His mind is well-shielded. If I had to guess, I’d say the map is hidden down on the planet, somewhere.”

 

“Well then,” Hux said. “If it’s still on Jakku, we’ll soon have it.”

 

Kylo nodded. “I’ll leave that to you.”

 

Hux blinked. “Wait, what?” As Kylo moved away, Hux pursued him, stormtroopers trying not to look like they were running out of the path of their two commanders. “What do you mean, you’re leaving it to me? You’ve been  _ obsessed _ with finding this map for the last four years, at  _ least. _ ”

 

Kylo made a grinding sound behind his helmet, and Hux could imagine very well the teeth-gritting scowl behind the mask. “There’s no way I’m ever setting foot on that hellhole planet again. I  _ still _ haven’t gotten all the sand out of my robes…” He picked up some of the fabric and gave it a shake. Sure enough, a few tiny grains fell and skittered against the durasteel floor. “I  _ hate _ sand.”

 

Hux sighed. Maybe, he thought, someday, Kylo Ren wouldn’t act like such a petulant child. “When was the last time you checked your comm? Captain Phasma said she was having a difficult time getting a hold of you.”

 

“Oh, um…” Kylo pulled his commlink out of a hidden pocket somewhere on his person. “Here, will you read it to me?”

 

Hux snatched it out of his hands with a scoff. “Spoiled brat,” he muttered.

  
“Crotchety old man,” Kylo retorted. Hux did very well at fighting back a fond smile, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carefully, Obi-Wan sat his aching body down on the rock, his eyes squinting into the desert morning. “Let’s rest for a few minutes,” he said, the wind pouring down the canyon trying to tear his words away.
> 
> “Alright!” chirped his young companion, folding her gangly arms and legs easily. She sat on the ground, picking up handfuls of sand and letting them trail through her fingers. He chuckled, a little, at the sight.
> 
> She looked up at him, this golden child with eyes like a storm. “How did my father die?”
> 
> Obi-Wan felt his heart stutter in his chest, broken all over again by the words of this girl. He wondered if she could tell. If she could tell that she held his heart in the palm of her hands. He wondered when he’d given it to her. He hadn’t meant to.
> 
> A tiny cascade of sand hissed over the rocks, and the rustle of feathers drifted down the canyon. “How did my father die?” croaked the blackbird, its voice mocking, repeating the girl’s words, cutting at Obi-Wan’s tendons and ligaments. Everything that held him together.
> 
> “You know very well how your father died,” Obi-Wan said to the blackbird. “Can’t you leave me in peace?”
> 
>  _“Can’t you leave me in peace?”_ cried the blackbird.
> 
> The girl was still looking at him, tears in her eyes, seemingly unaware of the blackbird. Obi-Wan thought to himself that she couldn’t see it. Or wasn’t ready to see it, yet.
> 
> “I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan said to the girl. “I’m sorry, I… please don’t cry…” If she cried, if she was human enough to cry, then Obi-Wan would be lost forever. And if he was the one to make her cry then surely his soul would be damned. “Leia…”
> 
> “Please don’t cry, Leia,” echoed the blackbird.
> 
> “Stop that!” Obi-Wan demanded. “You’re nothing but a shadow!”
> 
> The blackbird stared at him, it’s eyes far too bright and real. “You’re nothing but a shadow…”
> 
> And somehow Obi-Wan knew those words were more true when the blackbird spoke them.
> 
> He woke, twisted up in his sweat-soaked bed-sheets. Desperately, he tried to meditate, to banish the strange nightmare desert. He’d only been trying for a few moments when there was a gentle knock at the door.
> 
> “Come in, Master,” he said.
> 
> Master Qui-Gon opened the door and sat himself easily next to his padawan. “A bad dream, I suppose?”
> 
> “Yes,” Obi-Wan admitted, finally feeling his mind relax in the presence of his master.
> 
> Qui-Gon hummed thoughtfully. “A vision? Or perhaps you are nervous about our mission in the morning?”
> 
> Hesitant, Obi-Wan frowned. “I… I don’t know. I’ve never had a dream, vision or otherwise, that was anything like it. It felt like I really was in a desert. There was sand everywhere. I could feel it all over my skin…”
> 
> At that Master Qui-Gon gave a quiet chuckle. “Well, then I’m fairly certain that it has nothing to do with our mission. Naboo, I hear, is quite green.”


	4. Run for the Hills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is a rescue."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Han!" Leia couldn't help the smile that threatened to break her face in half. As terrible as the scoundrel looked, he was here! Alive!
> 
> "Leia!" Han exclaimed. As the guards pushed him forward, he staggered and fell, unable to catch himself with his hands bound.
> 
> "Are you alright?" she asked, desperation making her voice breathy.
> 
> "Fine," he tried to shrug. "Just fine. A little bit temporarily blind, but fine. How are we doing?"
> 
> She glanced around the cheering crowd of Jabba's sycophants. "Same as always."
> 
> "That bad, huh? Where's Luke?"
> 
> Leia couldn't even make herself glance over at Luke, blushing furiously. Poor guy.
> 
> "I'm... here. And kind of glad that you're temporarily blind so you don't get to see me dressed like this. Sorry."
> 
> Han grinned. "I have to admit, you two, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is quite the rescue."

Dazed, and a little off-balance, Eight-Seven didn’t even feel Kylo Ren approaching, which was unusual. The man was like a flare-gun or something. Impossible to miss, most of the time.

 

“Your first battle,” Kylo said simply as he fell into step, matching his pace to Eight-Seven’s.

 

“Yeah,” said Eight-Seven.

 

“Wasn’t what you thought it would be.”

 

“No,” he whispered. Eventually.

 

“That prisoner from the Resistance…” Kylo mused quietly. “Stubborn. But… No one from the Resistance is going to bother attempting a rescue. It’s only a matter of time before he breaks.”

 

Eight-Seven blinked. Why was Kylo saying this to him? In fact… why was the Knight interested in the prisoner at all?

 

_ A girl. Not a girl. Gold and black hair in braids. Eyes like storm-clouds. Her sleeves are rolled up, her arms streaked with oil and grease, up to her elbows in an engine. She smiles. Like the sun breaking through clouds. _

 

_ She almost never smiles anymore… _

 

_ Not since… _

 

_ Ben… _

 

Eight-Seven blinked again, reeling from the shock of the memory. Kylo didn’t usually let his thoughts show so easily around Eight-Seven anymore. Oh. But it wasn’t Kylo’s memory. It was… the prisoner’s? But Kylo had latched onto it, lacing his own feelings into it...

 

The Knight huffed. “Damn. I didn’t mean to do that. Did you see who she is?”

 

“No…” admitted Eight-Seven. “Should I have?”

 

“No. It’s good that you didn’t.” Kylo turned his head away for a moment, the blank mask staring down a crowded hallway. “If you… if you take it…” Eight-Seven frowned. The Knight was being more cryptic than usual. “If… if you get the chance… tell… General Skywalker…”

  
Kylo took a deep breath. Eight-Seven took it with him. “Tell her… I’m sorry. For everything. And… we’ll see each other soon, one way or another.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

TK-1244 felt nervous, his arms and legs all twitchy and not quite obeying him.

“What’s got you so worked up, Socks?” asked TK-1248 as they went about their patrols in the depths of Starkiller Base.

TK-1244 was about to protest the nickname,  _ again, _ but then decided it just wasn’t worth it. Most people didn’t know where the name came from, anyway. And now nobody mixed him up with JB-0444.

After checking both directions, up and down the corridor, Socks leaned closer and whispered. “I saw the ghost,” he explained to his fellow stormtrooper.

Keighty hissed in a breath. “You saw  _ Darth Vader _ ?” He clutched his blaster just a little closer to himself. “Like Banks saw last month?”

Socks nodded, his hands a little shaky. “Yeah. Down in the oscillator. It was just about 0100, dark, almost no one else there. I was on shift with Mads and Scull. We were just walking through, and I glanced out over the catwalk.”

“The skinny one?” Keighty asked to clarify. “Have they gotten around to putting the railing on it, yet?”

“Stop interrupting me,” snapped Socks. “And no. It was just like… this strip of metal wires stretched over empty air. I almost didn’t see him, ‘cause it was so dark. But he moved, turned to look at me, and I saw the mask, like it was hovering there, out over nothing. I told Mads and Scull to look, but by the time they did, he’d vanished. Into thin air.”

“Creepy,” Keighty breathed. “Do you think it was really him? The ghost of the 501st?”

“Of course!” Socks insisted. “I really saw him! And it’s not like it could be anyone else. Who’d be weird enough to run around Starkiller base dressed as Darth Vader in the middle of the night?”

The answer hit them at the same time.

  
“Kylo Ren,” they both muttered.

 

 

 

 

* * *

Eight-Seven breathed in, deep, and opened the door.

“Ren wants the prisoner,” he barked at his fellow trooper. TN-0056 made no complaint as Eight-Seven approached the Resistance fighter and released him. The man looked like he’d been to hell and back, barely able to stand on his feet. Eight-Seven hoped he could hold out a little longer.

Still hoping that no one would think his actions worth actually interfering with, Eight-Seven led the man down the corridor, practically having to hold him up. As soon as he could, Eight-Seven found a narrow hall where no one would be looking for them. Yet. Hopefully.

“Turn here.”

The prisoner obeyed, and Eight-Seven continued to take deep breaths to keep himself calm.

“Listen carefully. You do exactly as I say and I can get you out of here.”

“If… what?” The man blinked, still out of it. Great. Eight-Seven pulled off his helmet. Maybe seeing a (friendly?) face would help.

“This is a rescue!” Eight-Seven hissed. “I’m helping you escape. Can you fly a TIE-fighter?”

The man blinked, confused. “Are you with the Resistance?”

Eight-Seven fought down the rising anxiety that was touching the back of his throat. “What? No! I’m breaking you out. Can you fly a TIE-fighter?”

The prisoner smirked. “I can fly anything. Why? Why are you helping me?”

“It’s a long story, but… because it’s the right thing to do.”

He looked at Eight-Seven very intently. “You need a pilot.”

Eight-Seven wilted a little. He was right. “I need a pilot.”

The man grinned, and Eight-Seven felt real hope stirring in him. “We’re gonna do this.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, um…” Eight-Seven gestured to the armory door behind him. “Let’s get you suited up, then.”

It didn’t take long. The captive Resistance pilot was almost exactly the same size as TK-1246, and with Eight-Seven helping him, the armor was in place in only a couple of minutes.

“Will this really work?” asked the pilot, fidgeting a little as Eight-Seven checked the corridor. It was clear.

“It should,” said Eight-Seven. “As long as you don’t say too much. You don’t sound like a ‘trooper.”

“Got it.”

Down the hallway. Left. Second door to the right. Eight Seven halted. The way to the hangar was just down there, and up the elevator, but a breath of air had just danced over the back of his neck, covered as it was. He looked at the door to the left. Cell Block A.

“There was another prisoner,” he said slowly. He didn’t mean to. He hadn’t meant to speak at all. If this is what Kylo meant by the Force guiding his actions… it was a little creepy, to be honest.

“Affirmative,” said the pilot. Eight-Seven grinned and rolled his eyes without moving his head. He was beginning to like this guy.

They made their way into the cell block. It was almost too easy, really. The prisoner was in the fifth cell, just far enough from the guard station that they didn’t notice when the pilot stepped inside and took the helmet off.

“Hey,” he said to the prisoner with a wide grin. “This is a rescue.”

The old man looked up at the two of them, surprise and relief chasing each other across his face. “Well I’ll be…” he whispered. He went to stand, but his legs seemed very shaky. Eight-Seven and the pilot both rushed to support him. With both of them holding his arms like this, Eight-Seven realized, they could just look like they were transferring him to another cell. Or anywhere else…

Once the pilot got his helmet back on, they made their way out, through the halls, up the elevator, into the hangar. The enormous space echoed above and around them with voices and footsteps, mixed with the hum of machinery and engines.

A thought flickered across the front of Eight-Seven’s mind. “Oh no,” he groaned softly.

“What is it?” asked the pilot.

Eight-Seven nodded his head across the hangar. “With three of us, we can’t take a TIE-fighter. There’s only room for two.”

“That’s fine,” insisted the Resistance pilot. “Like I said, I can fly anything. Does this mean I get to pick a ship?”

“No...” Eight-Seven stared at the choice that wasn’t really a choice. It was already there, waiting for them, staring at him from across the huge space of the hangar. The ramp was already lowered, inviting.

The old man and the pilot followed where he was looking. “Oh  _ hell _ no,” muttered the white mask.

“It’s our best option,” said Eight-Seven, hoping he was right. “Come on.”

Together, the two of them hauled the old man across the hangar. Eight-Seven was glad they both seemed to be better at acting than himself. It felt like it took forever, but then Eight-Seven looked up and there they were, walking right onto Kylo Ren’s  _ Upsilon-class _ command shuttle.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” said the pilot.

_ Me too. _ “You can fly this, right?”

“I told you,” smirked the pilot as he pulled the stormtrooper helmet off. “I can fly anything.”

“Very reassuring,” smiled the old man, rubbing at his arms as he looked around to find somewhere to sit down. “But this shuttle, I believe, requires a co-pilot.” He gave Eight-Seven a sharp look.

Almost without thinking about it, the stormtrooper reached out for the Force, felt it there, on his skin, in his bones, dancing over his hands. “I can do it,” he said firmly, pulling his helmet off as calmly as he could. “I can do it.” The second time was softer, for himself. The three of them found their seats and strapped themselves in. Eight-Seven noticed the pilot’s hands shaking a little, but he turned his attention to the controls ahead of him. The engines hummed to life under the pilot’s command. Eight-Seven reached for the controls, but stopped. Wrapped around a handle in front of him was a scrap of flimsi. Carefully, he reached out and pulled it off, unrolling it to read the message typed out on it.

> Sven,
> 
> The fuel cells should be good to go. There’s extra clothes, food, 
> 
> water, some credits, and medical supplies behind the wall panel 
> 
> of passenger seat 4. I wasn’t able to replace the patch on the left shield 
> 
> projector, but you should be fine. Tell Dameron that if he harms my baby in 
> 
> any way he will experience horrors that have not been invented yet. 
> 
> Have fun.

“Great,” muttered Eight-Seven.

“What is it?” asked the pilot, but another voice came over the ship’s comm. “ _ Command Shuttle _ Varykino,” it crackled. “ _ You don’t have clearance for take-off. What are you doing? _ ”

Eight-Seven saw the pilot tense out of the corner of his eye. He reached out, instinctively calming the pilot even as he pressed the comm button. “I know we don’t have clearance,” Eight-Seven grumbled to the hangar traffic controller. “But Kylo Ren  _ insists _ that we take off  _ right now _ .”

There was a pause, and then a sigh. “ _ Really? Again? _ ”

“Yeah, I know,” agreed Eight-Seven, letting just the barest touch of Force leak into his voice. “You’d be doing me a huge favor if you just open the hangar door for us. He’s already got his lightsaber out.”

“ _ Oh, shit, man. _ ” The hangar doors began to creak open. “ _ There. And, uh… if you get a chance, maybe let him know that a little warning ahead of time would be nice. Especially with how the General’s been, lately. _ ”

“Thank you so much.” Eight-Seven switched off the comm and looked over. The pilot was staring at him with a weird look on his face. “What?”

A burst of laughter from behind them caught them both off-guard. The old man was bent over, his arms wrapped around himself as he tried to contain himself. “Sorry,” he wheezed. “But that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in years.”

The pilot inched the ship forward a bit. “Hit those green buttons,” he said to Eight-Seven.

“Which one?”

“All of them.”

Eight-Seven did as he was told, and with an ecstatic  _ whoop _ , the pilot plunged them forward into star-studded space.

“Wooaaaahhh! This thing really moves fast!” The pilot grinned. “Not the most maneuverable, but it’s got some kick to it.” He turned that grin on Eight-Seven. “What’s your name?”

“FN-2187.”

His face shifted, and Eight-Seven wasn’t quite able to read what it meant. The pilot’s thoughts were too jumbled, tired, and racing from adrenaline to get a solid read through the Force. 

“FN- whaa?”

“That’s the only name they ever gave me.” Eight-Seven shrugged.

The pilot frowned. “Well, I ain’t using it!” He shot a crooked, tired smile over at Eight-Seven. “FN, huh? Finn. I’m gonna call you Finn! Is that alright?”

Even with all the madness of the day, Finn…  _ Finn _ couldn’t suppress his smile. The name felt  _ right _ , like it had always been his, and had just been waiting around for someone to give it to him.

“Finn. Yeah. Finn. I like it!”

The pilot reflected his own burst of joy. “I’m Poe. Poe Dameron. And the old guy is Lor San Tekka.”

“Nice to meet you, Poe! Lor San Tekka!” Finn couldn’t  _ stop _ smiling. He’d never been so happy in his entire life.

“Nice to meet you too, Finn!” Poe chuckled and turned his attention out the viewport.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” said Lor San Tekka. Finn glanced back. The old man still looked exhausted, but was smiling. “I hate to be the voice to dampen so much enthusiasm, but… where are we going?”

“Back to Jakku,” Poe said, his voice firm.

“Back to Jakku?” repeated Finn. “No no no! We can’t go back to Jakku! We need to get out of this system before anyone realizes that we’re gone!”

“We need to get to my droid before the First Order does,” Poe said, his voice sharp with purpose. He glanced back at Lor San Tekka. “My droid’s got the map.”

The old man heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank the Force. It’s safe.”

“For now,” Poe snapped. Finn stared at him. Poe was getting angry, but… it was to cover something else. Fear? “We have to get it back as soon as we can.”

“A map?” Finn wondered if it was the map that Kylo Ren was trying to find. “A map to what?”

Poe’s hands clenched on the controls, and a tendon in his neck stood out. He really was afraid of something.

After a few moments, it was Lor San Tekka who answered. “It’s a piece of a map, really, that General Skywalker entrusted me to keep safe. A map to the first Jedi Temple. If the First Order got a hold of it…”

“That isn’t going to happen,” Poe said, cutting the air with his fear and fury. “Not as long as I live.”

They fell silent again. And again it was Lor San Tekka who broke the silence. “I didn’t realize you had become… personally involved, young Dameron.”

  
Finn watched Poe straighten his shoulders, purse his lips. “Neither had I,” he finally admitted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Ahhh, our guest of honor,"_ rumbled Gardulla the Hutt. _"A most impressive showing in the race, today, my friend. Especially for a human. If I remember correctly, no human has won the Boonta Eve Classic since before the Clone Wars."_
> 
> With an exaggerated shrug, Shmi peeled off her face-obscuring racing helmet and tossed it to one side. "You have a good memory, Gardulla," she murmured. "Though perhaps not good enough, since you seem to have forgotten our agreement."
> 
> The Hutt's eyes widened, and her tail shivered. "Shmi!" Gardulla exclaimed, trying to hide her sudden, overwhelming fear. _"It has been... such a long time, my friend!"_
> 
> "Don't try to sweet-talk me, Gardulla." Shmi smiled. It wasn't a friendly smile. "We made a deal, you and I. You agreed to stay out of the slave business, and I agreed not to kill you. That is how it went, yes?"
> 
> "How _dare_ you speak to the Great Gardulla in such a manner!" exclaimed the Hutt's translator. "Insolent-"
> 
> The man stopped speaking rather abruptly. Shmi had observed that most humanoids tended to stop talking when their spines were suddenly liquified. He collapsed the the floor with an unpleasant _smush_.
> 
> "Where was I," said Shmi. "Oh, yes. Gardulla..."
> 
>  _"Take anything you want!"_ wailed the supposed Great Gardulla. _"You can take anything, just please spare me!"_
> 
> Shmi clicked her tongue in mock disapproval. "You're right about one thing, Gardulla." She leaned a bit closer. "You know I can take whatever I want. Luckily for you... this is just a rescue."
> 
> _"A... a rescue?"_
> 
> "Yes," Shmi said softly. "You will free all of your slaves. _All_ of them... and in exchange you get to live a few more years. You're very lucky that I'm willing to alter our deal."


	5. I Followed Your Ashes Into Space, But I Can't Look At The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn thinks that Niima outpost is a junkyard, and Poe learns a horrible truth. Also, soulmates are a thing.
> 
>  
> 
> If I may direct your attention to the tags, you may notice that I updated a few... (Armitage/Ben, Trans Poe Dameron, etc.)most of which solidify my place as a despicable human being. I am so so sorry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leia paused, her shirt half-over her head. The fresher mirror was angled just right to let her catch a glimpse of it, every once in awhile. Her soulmark. The small black letters, lined up between her spine and her right shoulder blade. She didn’t think about it often. After all, it wasn’t like she met a great many people, though she enjoyed trips with Aunt Beru to Anchorhead for supplies once a month.
> 
> Once, she’d asked Old Ben about it.
> 
> “I have a soulmark,” she said one morning, as they stretched out in preparation for their katas. “That’s what Uncle Owen calls it. He has one, too. His and Aunt Beru’s match. Do you have one?”
> 
> “Aren’t you a little young to be worrying about things like soulmarks and soulmates?” His smile crinkled up around his eyes, but seemed shaky.
> 
> “I’ll be eight in two months,” she reminded him. “I’m practically a grown-up.”
> 
> “So you are,” Old Ben said quietly. She watched him hold back a sigh. “Soulmarks are very private things, Leia. Asking someone about theirs could be seen as very rude.”
> 
> She pursed her lips and nodded. “That makes sense. So do you have one?”
> 
> “Leia…”
> 
> “Where is yours? What does it say?”
> 
> _“Leia!”_
> 
> She fell quiet, staring at Old Ben. He’d never raised his voice at her, before. Ever. His eyes were wide, his hands shaking, his face pale under his tan. Something horrible twisted in her chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears falling down her face before she even realized they were there. “I’m sorry, Ben. Please don’t be mad at me…”
> 
> He shook his head, his eyes closed. “I… I’m not mad at you, Leia, but… maybe we should take a day off…”
> 
> “Ben…”
> 
> “Go home, Leia. Come back tomorrow.”
> 
> Dinner tasted like sand. Leia pushed around the food on her plate until Owen heaved a great sigh.
> 
> “The Tuskens have many beliefs about soulmarks,” he said quietly, holding hands with Beru under the table where they pretended Leia wouldn’t notice. “One of the reasons they keep themselves covered at all times is to protect their marks. They believe the marks are holy… Since they don’t have a written language, their marks are symbols, suns and stars and moons and animals. Their legends say that long ago, people had four legs, four arms, two heads. But one day the gods were angered, and as punishment every soul was cut in half, split right down the middle, and scattered across the world. But there was one goddess who had compassion on the lost souls, so she gave them soulmarks, so they could find themselves again, their other-selves.”
> 
> Leia bit her lip, then slowly looked up from her plate. “What are they really?”
> 
> Owen shrugged, and gave her a small smile. “No one really knows for sure. But… maybe don’t ask Old Ben about it again, alright?”
> 
> Leia wiped at her eyes. “Did something happen? Did he lose his other self?”
> 
> Owen glanced at Aunt Beru, and it was her who answered Leia.
> 
> “Yes,” she said sadly. “He did.”

“General Hux.” Hux turned, watched as Ren strode through the door to the command bridge, tall and dark and looming. “What is going on?”

 

“It’s the Resistance pilot,” Hux snapped, his nerves frayed. “He’s escaped, along with the other prisoner. They had help, Ren, from one of our own.” He tried to calm himself down but his usual methods were only getting him so far. Turning away from Ren, he looked over Mitaka’s shoulder at the glowing display. “We’re checking the registers now to see which stormtrooper it was.”

 

“There’s no need,” Ren hummed quietly. “It was FN-2187.”

 

Hux bit the inside of his cheek, then faced Ren. “What,” he said quietly. “Did you do?”

 

There was a burst of emotion in the back of Hux’s mind, the space he thought of as belonging to Kylo Ren. Fear, mostly. Confusion, anger, sorrow, grief, and strangely… a warm pride. Hux wavered, his left hand reaching up to brush against Ren’s right shoulder for a brief moment that he hoped no one on the bridge noticed.

 

“What I felt was necessary,” Ren murmured. “They used my shuttle to escape. We can track it. They’ll lead us right to the map.”

 

“You really think they are foolish enough to head straight for it?” Hux asked.

 

_ Unfortunately… _ “Yes,” Ren said aloud.

 

“Very well.” Hux turned to Colonel Kaplan. “Colonel, send a squad to Jakku to retrieve the map. Use the coordinates from Kylo Ren’s command shuttle-” He shot a glare at Ren. “Which the prisoners  _ conveniently _ took.”

 

Ren shrugged.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I have a contact at Niima Outpost,” Lor San explained. “A scavenger. Good at finding things. If anyone will be able to help us find your droid, it’ll be her.”

 

Poe fidgeted a little in the pilot seat, then stood when Finn stepped into view, face painted with uncertainty. He looked  _ very _ uncomfortable in the plain off-white shirt. With good reason, Poe realized. The sleeves were about six inches too long. Finn kept pushing the cuffs up his forearms, but it was a losing battle.

 

“How do I look?” The poor guy looked completely lost, anxious but hopeful.

 

“Here,” Poe said, holding out his hand to Finn. Gently, he rolled up the sleeves so that they sat on his wrists. “That should leave your hands free. Something’s still missing, though…”

 

Finn’s face was so easy to read, all but screaming how much he wanted to do this right, to fit in, to be… a normal person, Poe supposed. Poe snapped his fingers. “I got it!” he exclaimed. Quickly, he shrugged out of his jacket and handed it over. “Try this on.”

 

Finn’s eyes went wide, and a smile crept onto his face as he shrugged on the jacket. It fit perfectly. He held out his arms and looked at Poe with a question obvious in his demeanor.

 

“It suits you,” Poe nodded. Finn’s face lit up.

 

Lor San walked up to them, still stiff in his movements. “Take these,” he said, handing them lengths of lightweight cloth. “You need to protect your heads from the sun. And we’ll carry plenty of water with us, as well.”

 

“Aren’t we just going into town?” asked Finn, even as he shouldered a small bag of rations and water.

 

Lor San Tekka smiled a bit. “Young one, you would be  _ amazed _ at how many plans I have seen go horribly wrong.  _ Never _ set foot in a desert without extra water at the very least. Besides… Skywalkers are involved, and they inevitably cause more chaos, even when they don’t mean to.”

 

Poe draped the fabric over his head like a hood, then picked up his own bag and slung it over his shoulder. He hit the button to lower the ramp, and dry, hot air billowed up into the shuttle. “Speaking of Skywalkers,” he said, hoping he sounded casual. “How much do you know about the General?”

 

“Which one?”

 

Poe chuckled and helped the old man down the ramp. Hopefully they could get him some medical help while they were here, too. “General Skywalker, of course.”

 

But Lor San gave him a suspiciously innocent look. “ _ Which one? _ ” he repeated.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“The Supreme Leader was explicit,” Hux huffed as he walked down the bridge with Ren at his side. “Capture the droid without destroying it if at all possible.”

 

Ren grunted a little behind the mask. “What if a horrible accident were to happen and the droid were inexplicably destroyed along with the map? After all, your men are not all entirely capable-”

 

Hux bristled. “Don’t blame  _ my _ soldiers for  _ your _ issues, Ren. My men are exceptionally trained-”

 

“I’m well aware,” growled Ren.

 

“Careful, Ren,” Hux said, just a little quieter. “Your personal interests are showing, again.”

 

“Why, General,” Ren said mockingly. “Was that a  _ euphemism? _ And in public, too… how  _ bold _ of you.”

 

Hux sighed. “Why do I even bother?”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“There’s more than one?” Poe said, his voice scratchy, and his face growing redder in the heat.

 

“Of course, you probably mean the General Skywalker who leads the Resistance,” Lor San said as he led the two of them down the sandy hill.

 

“Who’s the other one?” Poe said, his voice getting higher-pitched with worry, though Finn wasn’t sure what he could possibly be worried about. It wasn’t like there was a General Skywalker who was an enemy to him.

 

“The General Skywalker who fought in the Clone Wars,” Lor San explained. “He was a friend, of sorts.” Finn narrowed his eyes at the old man, but no one noticed. How much did this old man know? Probably a lot, actually. Finn sighed. He himself knew  _ plenty _ about  _ both _ Generals Skywalker.

 

There were definitely good and bad things about being one of Kylo Ren’s only friends, and apparently the only confidant he had. Sometimes Finn felt like he carried too many secrets for Kylo. The guy really needed to find someone else to talk to.

 

Of course, the one time Finn had mentioned that maybe Kylo could talk to General Hux about some of it… had not gone well.

 

At least nothing had exploded, though.

 

“As for General Skywalker of the Resistance…” Lor San gave a heavy sigh. “If I had known forty-five-odd years ago what I do now, I would have run screaming in the other direction the first time I saw her.”

 

Poe didn’t seem to be very comforted by Lor San Tekka’s words, but Finn was.

 

Niima Outpost didn’t really look like much to Finn. More a junkyard than anything else, with scraps of old ships scattered about, casting narrow shadows in which a few tented stalls leaned. Everything was the color of dust and old metal, even the people, humans and aliens alike. In fact, it was pretty hard to tell the difference, even as they walked among them, within arm’s reach.

 

It didn’t take long to find Lor San’s scavenger he’d mentioned. There was yelling, some cursing, a scuffle, and the sound of someone being hit repeatedly in places that hurt. (Later, Finn thought that he really should have taken that as his first clue that he was dealing with someone related to Kylo Ren.)

 

“Rey!” yelled Lor San, waving an arm in the air. “Rey! Good afternoon!”

 

A wiry, goggled figure spun around at the name, a staff clenched in both hands. “Lor San Tekka?” called a high girlish voice. She ran the short distance to the three of them, then threw her arms around the old man. “It’s so good to see you! It’s been more than a month!”

 

“BB-8!” cried Poe. Finn looked to see a small, white and orange blur come barrelling into the pilot as he knelt in the sand, nearly knocking him over. “BB-8! Buddy! I told you I’d come back for you!”

 

Finn stood awkwardly, shifting his weight back and forth as his friends were reunited, it seemed, with those they’d been searching for. He wondered, for a moment, what it would be like. To have someone who was so happy to see him that they couldn’t help but run to him, all smiles and joy.

 

“Rey,” said Lor San as the scavenger stepped away from him. “These young men saved my life. I brought them here because I thought you could help find their lost droid… but it seems you were already a step ahead of us.”

 

“You’re very lucky I found him. Teedo had him, out in the eastern dunes.” At last, Rey lifted her goggles off her face. To get a better look at them, Finn assumed. His heart pounded hard in his chest. Dust stuck to her cheeks and nose, and her goggles had left red lines on her face. Her face was squarish, but narrow, with green-brown eyes that flickered to different shades with every move she made. He felt his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth.

 

Poe stood and brushed the sand off his knees. “I’m Poe Dameron,” he said. Finn wondered how he did it, that effortless charm, that perfectly crooked smile, that  _ hair.  _ It almost didn’t seem fair. Maybe that was why stormtroopers all had to keep their hair so short. So they didn’t get distracted by the few with naturally flawless hair.

 

Kylo Ren had nice hair, he remembered. But as pretty as Kylo was, he was far more scary than he was distracting. Not like this girl…

 

“And this is my friend, Finn,” Poe continued. Finn almost panicked for a split second. Did most people do something when meeting each other? What was he supposed to do with his face? Where did his hands go? “We’re Resistance fighters.”

 

Rey was staring at Finn, a strange look on her face. No one had ever looked at him like that before, and he wondered why it was making his stomach uneasy and his heart all clenched up. “Your name is Finn?” she said softly, then seemed to pull herself out of… whatever she had been thinking. Finn didn’t get a good look. “It’s nice to meet you both! I’ve never met Resistance fighters, before,” she exclaimed with a wide grin.

 

Poe shrugged, then winced. It looked to Finn like his ribs were sore. “Well, this is what we look like.”

 

Finn nodded, a bit uncomfortable. Rey really was very pretty, and she hadn't stopped looking at him. “Others look different,” he added, wishing he was better at talking to people. It seemed to be so easy for Poe. Although… Finn wondered if he should mention how much power the girl had simmering behind her eyes. It nearly distorted the air around her, like heat radiating from the sand made the air all wavy. (Later, Finn thought that the Force hitting him upside the head should have been his second clue that he was dealing with someone related to Kylo Ren.)

 

“Listen,” Poe continued. “Thank you for your help. This droid has to get back to the Resistance base no matter what. It’s carrying information  _ vital _ to General Skywalker.”

 

Rey’s expression turned intently curious. “General Skywalker? I thought-”

  
Whatever Rey was about to say was lost in the ensuing explosions. (Later, Finn thought that the explosions really should have been his third clue that he was dealing with someone related to Kylo Ren.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Come forward, child.”
> 
> Armitage wanted to look to his father for reassurance, but he had been raised in such a way that he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t show such a weakness before the Supreme Leader. Couldn’t prove to the Commandant that his bastard son really was as pathetic as he thought. So instead, he simply stepped forward and bowed. As best he could, he met Supreme Leader Snoke’s eyes without flinching, even as the strange humanoid drifted closer.
> 
> “I am told, child, that you wear a soulmark.”
> 
> Armitage nodded. “I do, sir.”
> 
> “Show it to me.”
> 
> This time, Armitage couldn’t help but glance back at his father, but the Commandant gave no reaction. He was staring straight ahead, his eyes fixed somewhere on the back wall of this dark place. Armitage hadn’t ever seen his father frightened before in all his twelve years of life, and it wasn’t until he’d rolled up his sleeve that he realized that fear is what he saw on the Commandant’s face.
> 
> Holding up his arm so the light fell on the small black letters about three inches from his wrist, Armitage wondered why the Supreme Leader wanted to see it. The Commandant had said that he should never show anyone, if he could help it, that it was something that could be used against him. But now they were here, the Supreme Leader gazing down at the mark Armitage had been born with.
> 
> It wasn’t a very remarkable name that was spelled out in his skin. Armitage figured that there could be thousands, if not millions, of ‘Ben’s across the galaxy. The way the Supreme Leader leaned closer, though, made Armitage wonder what was so significant about the mark.
> 
> Supreme Leader Snoke glanced at the Commandant. “You may leave, Commandant Hux.”
> 
> Armitage glanced back once more. The Commandant didn’t move, but stood as if transfixed.
> 
> “Commandant Hux,” The Supreme Leader said, his voice harsher, louder. “Your service is appreciated, and will not be forgotten. You may go.”
> 
> Armitage shivered, the Supreme Leader’s words pushing against him like real things with weight. Like a puppet jerked by strings unseen, his father bowed, then turned away, exiting the strange, dark, cavernous room. Armitage felt more alone than usual.
> 
> “You have a significant purpose, child,” The Supreme Leader said slowly, staring at the soulmark. Armitage trembled. Something about the Supreme Leader seemed… hungry. “Tell me... do you wish to serve the First Order? To help restore the galaxy to its rightful state?”
> 
> That was all Armitage wanted, all he had ever been told to want. He’d never wondered, really, or daydreamed of any other reason for his life, anything else he might want to do. Not until just after he said “Yes, Supreme Leader.”
> 
> “That is good… I promise you this, child. Your life… will be dedicated to a great purpose.”
> 
> A spindly, greyish hand lay itself over the soulmark, and pain like oily red fire shot through Armitage, roaring through his entire being.
> 
> Across the galaxy, a young boy named Ben Skywalker-Solo woke screaming.


	6. A Sky With Neither Stars Nor Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But what if there were a blackbird?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke maneuvered the speeder through the narrow canyon, the dry wind hissing against his ears and cheeks. Small arms tightened around his waist and he smiled a little. Rey had practically begged to come along for the ride, even when Luke insisted that he wasn’t actually going anywhere in particular, just needed to get out somewhere beneath the sky. She squealed with delight when he playfully took a turn sharper than he strictly needed to.
> 
> It didn't take long to reach the top of the ridge, and Luke eased the speeder to a stop. The cliffs dropped away from their feet, the desert stretching away for miles in every direction. The air felt a little softer than usual, the long twilight just starting to creep up the sky.
> 
> He helped Rey down, and they sat on the cliff's edge, their feet hanging over. They tossed small stones as far as they could, taking a moment to laugh quietly with each other.
> 
> "Luke?" He looked down at the young girl. She looked at him with the over-seriousness of a small child. "Are you alright? You look tired."
> 
> He scratched at his head and frowned. “I haven’t been sleeping very well,” he admitted. “I’ve had some bad dreams.”
> 
> “Bad dreams?”
> 
> Luke hesitated, suddenly unsure of himself. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Rey.”
> 
> She frowned. “It’s not ‘nothing’ if you can’t sleep because of it, Luke. Do you want to talk about it?”
> 
> He wondered, for a moment, if he should tell her, but the moment soon passed. He frowned down at his knees. "I keep dreaming of…” Ash and shadow. Hands that held onto nothing. A figure wrapped in death and torment so powerful that reality cracked and warped around it. “Darth Vader.”
> 
> Rey sighed. The sound was so small, full of sadness that was too big for those tiny shoulders. “A sky without stars or storms.”
> 
> “What?”
> 
> She fidgeted, glancing at him and running her fingers along the edge of her sleeves. “It’s just… something mom said. When I asked her about your names.”
> 
> Luke turned towards her, curious. “What did she say?”
> 
> Rey looked up at the sky, squinting at the bright glare. “She said that stars and storms both live in the sky. That’s their home. And that a sky without either of them would be… very empty and sad.”
> 
> He watched her as she fidgeted some more, trying to disguise wiping away some stray tears. “Luke?”
> 
> “Yes?”
> 
> “Do you think my brother will ever come home?”
> 
> The honest answer was no. But Rey already knew that. Still, she was looking up at Luke like he had the power to change that, somehow.
> 
> He cleared his throat, looked away from her, out over the desert. The setting suns painted the wasteland in rust and pink, the shadows of the hills and rocks a soft, deep blue. “Well,” he said quietly. “If you and I both want that, we’re going to have to come up with a really good plan, aren’t we?”

Finn decided that battle simulations were great and all for basic training, but simulated sand and real sand were very different. Real sand sank and slid under your feet when you ran, for one thing, every step taking the effort of three normal ones. And simulated sand didn’t get in your mouth when you called out for help, or to yell instructions.

“Go! Run!”

Finn tried to spit the irritating grains out, but they got beneath his tongue and between his teeth and gums. It was hard to breathe, too, but that may have just been because he was running harder than he knew he could. He tasted blood.

“Back to the ship! That way!”

The swooping aircraft above them burned through the atmosphere, the wind displaced by them pummeling the rag-tag group. Finn wished he had a blaster in his hands, even though such a small weapon would do nothing against TIE-fighters. Rey was running ahead of him, her clothes whipping about her. The heat and terrible footing didn’t seem to be slowing her down at all.

Finn glanced behind him, worried about Poe and Lor San Tekka. And as he did so he saw the fighter coming up behind them.

‘Get down!’ he screamed, the dryness like a living thing tearing its way into his mouth and nose. Even as his new friends dove to the ground, though, he realized that the shots weren’t being fired at them.

He hadn't expected the First Order to destroy one of their own command shuttles.  _ Especially _ Kylo Ren’s command shuttle.

He felt a very quick pang of sympathy for whoever had to deliver that news to the Knight.

“Damn!” Poe cursed loudly before the last of the debris had even landed. Finn barely heard him over the ringing in his ears. “What now?”

“That ship!” Lor San pointed, and blindly Finn turned to follow.

“That ship is garbage!” Rey called out, but he heard her right behind him, still keeping up.

All that mattered was running, getting out of here safely. Finn willed them all to move faster.

Until suddenly, all that mattered was that soft sound he heard behind him when they were just within a few yards of the dilapidated ship.

“Ah,” is all Rey said as she tripped over a piece of metal half-buried, landed hard on the ground and all the air rushed out of her at once. Finn couldn’t breathe, either, could only see, for a moment, the memory of watching Slip fall to the sand of Jakku, blood on his armor.

No.  _ No one _ was going to fall anymore. Not anyone that Finn, limited and human as he was, could protect.

He didn’t even think about it, really, only ran back a few steps, trying to ignore the roar of TIE-fighters over his head. Sliding in the sand, Finn reached out and took hold of Rey’s hand even as she was scrambling to get back up.

“I’m fi-” she started to say, in the instant before their hands touched and the whole world went black.

And then white.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then a color that wasn’t quite purple.

His heart felt like it was pounding so hard it was going to break his ribs, and he could feel  _ her _ heart as well.

In the un-purple, their eyes still managed to meet. The breaking dry air was gone. All Finn could feel was warmth. Gentle and happy. It kind of reminded him of something, something that he couldn’t quite remember all the way at the moment, because there were more important things going on.

Like Rey, right in front of him.

(The back part of his mind, more concerned with survival, gave up screaming at him at this point.)

_ Oh, _ he heard in his mind. A simple sound of surprise and realization.

And then the single, quiet voice in his head multiplied. Dozens, maybe hundreds of whispers. Some felt close, almost like they were coming from inside his own cells. Some felt distant, like they were reaching a long way just to speak to him, just to make sure that he heard...

_ gentle/bright/mortal recognition, through sky-heart/eyes child walking.  _

It didn’t really make sense. Not true words, just images and feelings flickering back and forth across the entire galaxy but tuned so he alone could see.

_ familiar a life-longing-half for (belonging) stone brave child walking. hands holding tight don’t let go _

_ a question (old anticipation) are you ready? _

_ find fire _

Finn opened his eyes and sat up, nearly hitting his head on the way.

“Take it easy, young man,” said a calm voice. “We’re all safe.”

“Rey?” Finn asked. For a second, hers was the only name he could remember.

“Yes, she’s safe, too.” Lor San Tekka put a weathered, kind hand on Finn’s head. “You don’t seem to be actually injured, though I’m surprised you were unconscious for so long. It’s probable that you’ve been pushing yourself too hard.”

Finn looked around, saw only the cramped cabin of whatever ship they’d gotten on, it looked like. The engines hummed low and unevenly below the deck. “What happened?”

The old man sat back, crossed his arms in front of him. “What do you remember?”

Voices, mostly. “Um… Rey tripped,” Finn said slowly, reconstructing events in his mind. “I ran back to help her. I grabbed her hand…”

“And both of you promptly passed out.” Poe Dameron sniped from the doorway. “You are so damn lucky Lor San and I were able to drag you two onto the ship.  _ Barely _ .”

“And not without a price,” Lor San said, frowning as he stood up slowly. “How is your arm, Commander Dameron?”

Poe shrugged, and then grimaced. Finn noticed him holding his right arm very carefully at his side. “Not so great,” Poe hissed, his face turning pale and kind of green. “I don’t think I’ll be flying anything for a while.” He nodded at Finn with a shaky smile. “Good thing your girlfriend is a halfway decent pilot herself, or we’d be in big trouble.”

“Poe Dameron,” said Lor San, managing to sound rather put-upon. “You are  _ hardly _ in a position to tease other people about their soulmates.”

Finn’s brain caught up. Almost. “Girlfriend? Wait… soulmate? What’s that?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

Ren’s displeasure was contagious, rolling off the Knight in waves.

“Stop pouting, Ren,” Hux said sharply as they walked towards the command bridge. “It’s your own fault, you know. You’re the one who let them take your command shuttle.” He scoffed a little. “I’m  _ convinced _ that all the disasters in your life are of your own doing.”

Ren actually  _ growled _ , but other than that did not respond. Either he was even more upset about his command shuttle than he initially let on, or Hux had accidentally struck a nerve. Most likely the second. They had a tendency to do that, Knight and General. Hux made a mental note to apologize properly later, in private. For now, he hoped a discreet touch of his hand to Ren’s back would be enough. Ren all but melted into the touch.

“You’re fine, Ky.” Hux breathed, and felt Ren breathe with him. Good.

Now, to distract the Knight, which should be easy enough. Hux thought of the conversation he’d overheard earlier, between some of the troops.

“Ren,” he said. “With the Force, is there such a thing as ghosts?”

The Knight stopped so suddenly that Hux nearly tripped trying to stop and face him. Ren whirled on him, furious.

“You _saw_ him? What did he do?  _ What did he say to you!? _ ” Ren barked through the mask, his voice harsh, his words grinding painfully through the air. A nearby wall panel crumpled. A passing officer flinched and backed away slowly.

Hux frowned. “I take it the answer is yes, then.” That hadn’t been the response he’d expected.

Ren let out a horrible, mechanical hissing sound, tensing even more, his fists shaking. “ _ What _ did he  _ say _ to you, Hux.”

“I haven't seen any ghosts, Ren. Only overheard some gossip about the base being haunted.” He stepped forward, into Ren’s space, glaring at the damnable mask. “Who are you so concerned about?”

Ren’s hands clenched, and Hux heard him gulp in a shaky breath. “No one. I mean. It isn't… He’s…”

Hux raised an eyebrow, and Ren relented.

“Fine. Yes, there are… some phenomenon around powerful force-users that could be termed ‘ghosts’, if that is what someone is comfortable with calling them. Personally, I prefer-”

“General!” That was Officer Falgen, scurrying up the corridor. “There’s a minor issue with the-”

“If it’s  _ minor _ ,” Hux all but snarled. “Why are you telling me about it instead of dealing with it yourself?”

But that was more than Ren needed to make his escape, long strides carrying him away from Hux. Ah, well. Hux listened to Officer Falgen’s hurried explanation while also letting his mind wander back to Ren. The Knight was getting better at dodging Hux’s questions, but he was doing it far less often than was once usual.

Hux realized that his hand had drifted without conscious thought. Again. His fingers tracing over where his soulmark used to be. He calmly lowered his hand back to his side and told himself that no one noticed.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

“Of  _ course _ stormtroopers wouldn’t know about soulmates,” Poe groaned, his good hand over his face. “You don’t even have proper  _ names. _ Shit.”

Finn stood up, his head still feeling strangely  _ swishy, _ but nothing he couldn’t deal with. He shivered. It felt for a moment like he was being watched by many invisible eyes. It quickly dissipated, though.

“Finn.” Finn looked at Lor San Tekka, who gestured to him. “If you feel quite rested enough, I’m afraid I must ask that you indulge an old man’s need for some sleep. Commander Dameron can explain things to you, I’m sure.” He gave Poe a stern look. “You need sleep, too, Commander, when you can. Passing out while being interrogated doesn’t count.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Poe said dryly, though Finn saw dark shadows under the man’s eyes. “You get your rest, Lor San Tekka. I don’t care to imagine General Skywalker’s reaction if I showed up with you looking like you’re on death’s doorstep.”

“I was about to say the same thing to you.”

Finn crossed the small space to Poe. “I, um… Rey’s alright?”

Poe looked at him, up and down, and even though Finn was pretty sure Poe couldn’t use the Force, he felt kind of like Poe was reading his mind. “Yeah. She’s fine. woke up after only a few seconds.” Finn followed him out of the room, leaving lor San Tekka to rest. “Not sure why you were out for so long, although…” He gave Finn  _ another _ knowing look. “When two soulmates touch for the first time it’s… memorable. And I’ve  _ heard _ it’s even stronger when one of them has a strong connection to the Force.”

“So… what are soulmates?”

Poe stopped, cradling his injured right arm. “Well, no one  _ really _ knows why it happens, but sometimes sentient life-forms are born with a name on their skin somewhere. Not their own. Someone else’s. Some people never find their soulmate, but most do, from I’ve heard. And when you find that person…” Poe shrugged. "It’s kind of weird, really. You think about them a lot. You want them to be happy. You want to protect them, never let them get hurt, even though you know they don’t need it-”

“You have one,’ Finn said quietly. “A soulmate. Don’t you? A name you were… born with?”

Poe sighed and grimaced. “Yeah. And I don’t know how Lor San knows. The General must’ve told him…”

“Finn?”

Rey stepped into the corridor, and Finn’s world shrank. He remembered thinking she was pretty. That was still true, but Finn found himself wishing he knew more words for ‘pretty’. She deserved all of them.

“Hi, Rey,’ he said quietly, feeling his face get warm.

After a few moments, Poe cleared his throat. “Is the hyperdrive set to go, Rey?”

She jumped a little. “Oh, yeah! It is! You didn’t tell me where we needed to go, so I set the hyperspace jump for the Anoat system.”

“Anoat? There’s nothing there.”

  
Rey’s expression hardened a little, and Finn smiled. “Well, you can go set it for wherever you need to go.”

 

Poe sighed dramatically. “The base is in the Ileenium system.”

“The Ileenium system?” Rey echoed, some disbelief in her voice. Finn failed at hiding a grin.

“Yeah, well…” Poe shrugged and made his way to the cockpit. “I’ll just… leave you two to do that weird staring thing where I don’t have to watch…”

And just like that, Poe was gone, leaving Finn stranded alone with… with Rey.

She looked down at the floor, her brow furrowed with thought, and then she looked back at him with a very solemn expression. “I’m sorry.”

Finn felt completely lost. “For what?”

‘For almost getting us killed back there.” Her cheeks turned a little pink. She had tried and failed to wipe the dust from her face, it seemed. “As soon as they said your name… I knew. I wanted to say something, but then those fighters were shooting at us and we were running, and then…” She shrugged. Her eyes were such an amazing color. “And then you took my hand. You… you came back for me.”

He did. Hadn’t even really thought about it. But she was looking at him like what he had done was really important. Like  _ he _ was important. No one had ever looked at him like that before. “I… didn’t want to leave you behind.”

She smiled and nothing else mattered. Finn felt himself shifting his weight back and forth, trying to put his head back together. “That was strange, though wasn’t it? With all those voices?”

“Voices?” Now she looked confused. “I didn’t hear any voices.”

“You didn’t?” Finn frowned. “But they were so loud-”

“What did they say?”

Honestly, he was just glad she didn’t seem to think he was crazy. “It was… confusing. They didn’t really use words that I could understand. but they said… something about a small person. No, wait. A young person. Someone young, and they were… awake? Moving?”

“Walking? A walking child?”

‘Yeah, that’s it. A walking child. There was a lot more, too. A lost fire, I think.”

Rey’s face had gone pale, and Finn couldn’t help but step closer. “Rey? Are you alright?”

“You heard their voices?” she whispered. “I didn’t know…” She stopped, took a breath. Finn felt her mind strengthen. It was incredible. He’d gotten kind of used to his own mind, and to some extent, Kylo Ren’s. Rey had a really strong mind. Stronger than Finn knew was possible. Kylo’s seemed… rather flimsy by comparison. Not that Finn had a lot of experience with these things, but-

‘There aren’t very many people who can hear them,” Rey said. “I… thought it was just my family…”

“Your family?”

  
Maybe it was because Finn was already reaching towards her with the Force, but for a brief moment, there was a window in the fortress walls of her mind. Swirling images of happy faces and kind eyes, gentle hands, holding her close, precious and protected. One face in particular.  _ I’ll come back for you. I promise _ …

 

“Kylo Ren?” Finn whispered without really meaning to.

 

Rey stood and stared at him, her eyes wide and her face pale. She opened her mouth to say something, but just at that moment, the lights on the ship went dark.

 

“Ohhhh, that can’t be good,” Finn said quietly, wondering if Kylo’s monumental ability to cause disaster extended to the mere mention of his name.

 

“Someone’s locked onto us,” said Poe, staggering back from the cock-pit, his eyes a little wild with nerves.

 

“It must be the First Order,” Finn said, his breath starting to come faster. “Did we find any blasters on board?”

 

“There might be some in the back,” said Rey, gesturing.

 

“We can’t hold them off forever,” Poe whispered, even as he began moving.

 

The metal hull of the ship clanked and creaked, protesting as the ship was dragged through space. Finn threw open several doors, trying to find something,  _ anything _ to help them. Rey still felt calm and solid, but Poe’s mind got loud, all of a sudden, and the things he was thinking weren’t pleasant. The interrogation room on the  _ Finalizer. _ Cold. The First Order could  _ not find that map. I’ll do whatever it takes. Anything. _

 

Before Finn could say anything to Poe, they all staggered as the ship settled, apparently having reached its destination. The blast door released, and the three of them found each other’s hands in the dim emergency lights. The feeling of Rey’s hand in his made Finn smile. Even if they were in huge danger. He wondered if that was going to be a problem at some point. Like now.

 

The door opened, and two uniformed men stepped through, blasters in their hands, but not raised to fire. Finn realized two things very quickly. First of all, he had positioned himself in front of Poe and Rey without thinking about it, putting himself between them and the danger. Secondly, they weren’t in danger yet. Whoever they’d been captured by wasn’t the First Order. Mercenaries didn’t usually have such nice matching uniforms. These looked more like private bodyguards of some kind. 

 

“Halt!” One of them barked. Everyone continued to not move. “Is there anyone else on board?”

 

“We aren’t armed,” Finn said firmly, lifting his hands, with Rey’s and Poe’s, so the men could see. “There’s one other passenger. An older man. We could use some help, some medical aid. We were attacked by the First Order.”

 

The two guards relaxed, and after a moment of checking the immediate surroundings, they both holstered their weapons.

 

“My apologies,” said one of them, an eyeshield blocking most of his face. “We didn’t know what to expect on board. My name is Captain Gallo. My employer was very insistent that we intercept this ship, once it registered on our scanners.”

 

“Captain Gallo,” Poe said, stepping forward. “You gave us quite a scare. Not even hailing us?”

 

“Actually, Poe,” Rey interjected. “They probably tried. A lot of the things on this ship don’t work very well.”

 

“Oh,” Poe said, then shrugged. “Captain, I believe I’ve heard your name before. You work for Senator Amidala, don’t you?”

  
“I do.” The Captain stood up a bit straighter. “He’s the one that ordered us to intercept this ship. He’ll want to speak with all of you, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jedi Kelik Tet stood at the front of the classroom of padawans and younglings, her eyes serene and gentle as she led them through the mental recitations and exercises. Anakin felt a bit awkward. He was the tallest padawan in the room, and probably the oldest, but he tried really hard to let go of his discomfort. He wanted to make Obi-Wan proud of him, after all.
> 
>  
> 
> A youngling at the front of the room was standing, calm and peaceful, repeating back the first two lines of the simplified Jedi code. When he finished, Kelik Tet smiled at him and gestured for him to sit.
> 
>  
> 
> “Anakin,” said Kelik Tet, her voice soft but still carrying through the whole room. “Would you please stand and recite the next two lines?”
> 
>  
> 
> His first impulse was to jump to his feet as fast as he could, and say the words as loud and clear as he could. But he’d been with the Jedi for a year, now, and he had just enough control to make himself stand up a little slower, try really hard to speak calmly and evenly.
> 
>  
> 
> “Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony.”
> 
>  
> 
> _He can’t even pass for a real person, can he._
> 
>  
> 
> Anakin froze. He wasn’t sure whose thought it was he heard, but it echoed terribly in his head. A real person?
> 
>  
> 
> _Blank face. Monotone voice. Trying so hard to act normal and failing. Poor slave boy. He’ll never be all the way real._
> 
>  
> 
> “Anakin? You can sit down, now.”
> 
>  
> 
> With a start, Anakin saw Kelik Tet’s kind face before him. Hushed giggles came from the corners of the room.
> 
>  
> 
> “I…” He felt like he was going to be sick. “I have to go…”
> 
>  
> 
> Kelik Tet smiled, and her pity hurt like needles. “You can leave if you need to, Anakin.”
> 
>  
> 
> He felt everyone’s eyes on him as he tried not to run from the room, but when the laughter got a bit louder he couldn’t help but run. Run all the way to Obi-Wan to try and hide his tears in his teacher’s robes.


	7. This War Is Gonna Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of people think they know what's going on. Most of them are wrong.
> 
> (aka there's a LOT of exposition this chapter but maybe not all of it is reliable...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin squinted up at the grey human. “You’re really tall. I wanna be tall when I grow up.”
> 
> The tall, grey human ( _Qui-Gon Jinn_ , he heard in his head) smiled at Anakin. “Perhaps if you think tall thoughts it’ll happen.”
> 
> Unsure if that was how height actually worked, Anakin moved on to his next thought. “You’re stuck here, aren’t you? That sucks. No one likes it here. Except the sandpeople sometimes. There’s a storm coming.”
> 
> “A storm coming?”
> 
> Anakin turned to walk backwards so he could look at the pretty dark-haired human while he talked. He wasn’t sure why, but it was harder to hear a name for her, though he did at least manage to hear that she was a her. “Yeah. Probably a bad one. You’ll want to get back to your ship really quick. Sandstorms can scour the flesh off a bantha and leave just the bones!”
> 
> “I don’t know that we’ll have time to reach our ship,” Qui-Gon said distantly, like his mind was only partly here, like he was looking somewhere else.
> 
> “Master?”
> 
> Anakin looked at the last human in surprise. He didn’t _feel_ like a slave. Why was he calling the tall one 'Master'?
> 
> Qui-Gon looked back at ( _Obi-Wan Kenobi_ , the whisper came, though the name didn’t feel complete yet) his companion but continued to speak to Anakin. “I’m afraid our ship is some distance from town. The storm could hit before we reach it.”
> 
> The idea burst out of Anakin before he even knew what it was. He was having a lot of fun speaking with these people. “I know! I know! You can all come to my house! It’s closer and safer! My mom won’t mind.” Actually, Shmi would probably mind _a lot_ , but she also said that people should help each other. And he just wanted to help these interesting people with their strange names and nice hair and the droid with a vocabulary that Anakin hadn’t heard before.
> 
> “I appreciate your generosity,” Qui-Gon said politely, with a smile like he’d just won something. “We’d be honored to be your guests. You said your name is Anakin?”
> 
> “Yeah!” Anakin was grinning so hard his face hurt. This was exciting!
> 
> “Do you have a last name? A family name?”
> 
> Anakin thought over the question. “Family name?” Like… a name his family gave him? “Oh! Yes! I do! Walking Sky- But I guess in basic it sounds better as Skywalker.”
> 
> The man nodded in acceptance. Anakin smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you, Anakin Skywalker.”

The day was warm. Cotton-puff clouds drifted lazily overhead, painting the ocean with their shadows. Leia tipped her head back, let the gentle breeze caress her hair and the palms of her hands. The stone beneath her bare feet was sun-warmed, the thick carpet of moss so vividly green it nearly hurt her to look at. It wasn’t the same green as the rainforests of Yavin, but it was near enough to hurt.

“I dream of him, you know,” she whispered to the ocean. “Just normal dreams, not visions. Ben comes to me when I dream of green forests. He tells me how sorry he is, that he wishes things had been different.”

“Which one?”

Of course. Leia was never granted lonely dreams, no matter how much she wanted one. She glanced at her visitor. “Both of them.” Her mentor and her son, her teacher and her child. Both taken from her.

He remained silent. Leia turned slowly to face him, certain, now, this was a vision, not simply a dream. In her dreams and nightmares he almost always still wore the robes of Darth Vader, but at times like this he appeared to her as he wanted to, which, from what she could gather, was mostly as he saw himself. He was far too pretty, which always got on her nerves, though less than it used to. Ben Kenobi used to tell her that she looked like her father, and, once she had a face to pair those comments with, she never was quite sure what to make of that. The scar on his face was more livid than she usually imagined it, stark and angry. His hair was long again, brushing against his shoulders, and he wore plain clothes of dark grey. Little had changed, but then Anakin Skywalker rarely ever changed.

“Why are you here?” she asked.

He looked out over the ocean, not willing to look at her for too long, still partly afraid of her, even after all this time. “You have something to tell me. Something you’ve sensed… through the Force?”

Ah. That. She was worried that he had come about the other dreams she’d been having.

“You are so certain…” he added quietly. “Certain that this isn't just another dream? You can tell that I'm really here?”

A chill crawled down her jaw and behind her sternum. “I can always tell.” She shrugged, uncomfortable with his questions. “I’ve always been able to tell dreams from visions from reality.”

Anakin looked at her, one eyebrow raised curiously. “I admit I’m a bit jealous. That is a gift. If I had that confidence, well… our lives would all be very different. So, what is it you have felt, Leia?”

A cloud moved over the sun. “It… I think it's Snoke.” His gaze sharpened dangerously. “I can't see it clearly…” Frustrating, having to rely only on the vague senses of the Unifying Force rather than the sisters. “Ben… mine… you know he was born with a soulmark.”

“Yes.”

“I feel that Snoke must have found Ben’s soulmate. That he's-” She lifted her hands in front of her, like her fingers were shaping her words. “Manipulated that link to control Ben. Maybe even them both, he and his other self.”

Anakin scowled. “That's… highly unlikely, but possible, I suppose. Especially if B- if Ben’s soulmate is someone who grew up in First Order territory. Maybe even in the new stormtrooper program…” He went quiet for a moment. “Stars. What if the program was put in place  _ specifically _ to find someone Snoke could use? He’s certainly spiteful and patient enough-”

“You’re lucky you don't have one,” Leia said, interrupting his decent into his own thoughts. “A soulmark. Imagine if Palpatine had been able to use that against you.”

Anakin held very still, but a flicker of pain crossed his face. “I am lucky.”

Leia stared at him, and he turned away from her completely, his height and shoulders hiding his face. His mental shields were leaking so much guilt she felt it spilling across the stones at her feet, though he quickly got that back under control.

Well, then. Leia found herself adjusting what she thought she knew. Why would Anakin Skywalker feel guilty when she spoke of him not having a soulmark?

She looked at him again.  _ Really _ looked. She could remember all the stories Old Ben had shared with her in her childhood. Stories of a brave, headstrong young Knight and daring star-pilot. Ben had deliberately painted an image of heroism for her to aspire to, someone who sacrificed his life for his loved ones.

The worst thing was that Leia could still see that person that her teacher had spoken of so fondly. Every movement Anakin made held the outlines of the warrior, the one who took action. She had learned, however, that that notion of recklessness didn't really matter: Anakin was not young anymore, and sometimes the things he  _ didn't _ say were more important than what he did say.

A memory stirred itself, the dinner table and biting back the salt of tears because she’d been scolded.

Asking about Old Ben’s soulmate. _ Did something happen? Did he lose his other self? _

_ Yes. He did. _

Several pieces clicked into place. It was so obvious. The way Obi-Wan had spoken of Anakin. How he never told her what his soulmark said. The bitter way he’d confessed that the Jedi Code forbade them from searching for their soulmates…

Obi-Wan all but laying down his weapon at Darth Vader's feet, letting the monster have his life. Had he done it to protect Anakin from having their connection used against him? Against them both?

A horrible, sick question walked into her head and made itself at home. What did it feel like to kill your own soulmate? What would something like that  _ do _ to a person?

“I’ll see what I can find out,” Anakin said, still not facing her. His voice sounded strange and wavery. “We may not have much time left.”

She looked down and held her hands very still at her sides for a moment. “Before the First Order makes their move?”

“Before the weapon fires.”

Leia rubbed her arms, willing the chill away and tilting her face up towards the clouds. “Have you figured out their target?”

“Besides the New Republic in general? No, although-” He tilted his head to one side, glanced out over the wide water again. “I have a hunch. Nothing solid, but I’ve already taken steps. She’ll be safe on Takodana. However...” He turned towards her, finally facing her again, though he didn’t look her in the eye. Instead, he was staring down at her hands. She looked as well, surprised to find herself holding a black feather. Such was the way of dreams and visions, she supposed. She held it up between them like a sword.

“You were saying?” Leia asked.

Anakin took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. “There’s… ah… something else.” He folded his arms in front of him. Old Ben had often stood like that while lecturing her on one topic or another. When Anakin stood that way, he seemed far more defensive than anything else. “The First Order has a secret weapon.”

Instead of rolling her eyes like she wanted to, Leia focused on the feather in her hand. It felt like she was supposed to do something with it, but she wasn’t sure what. Briefly, she thought of reaching out with it, brushing the feather against Anakin’s face. It was a bizarre thought, one she tried to put out of her mind quickly. The two of them had never touched, after all, and the thought of even just that much contact made her face and jaw feel tight. She pretended it was anger. “Do you mean they have a secret weapon  _ besides  _ their mega-Death Star?”

His expression did something strange. “Yes. I mean  _ other _ than their Murder Machine three-point-oh.”

“The First Order has something  _ worse _ ?” She thought of Alderaan, of how the death of one planet had nearly ripped shreds through the Force. “Worse than the potential deaths of billions?”

His eyes came back to hers like lightning, pale and burning, the corners of his mouth turned down. “The Empire had… many secrets. Palpatine had his  _ side-projects. _ ” He sneered the words, biting them out. “There was one research facility in particular devoted to researching bio-engineered weapons.”

Leia felt her lungs constrict. “Palpatine was trying to re-create the Viem?”

“Yes. Though,  _ obviously, _ he had no success on that front. Not even close.”

Anger seized her. “You didn’t think that was _important enough_ to ever tell us?” she demanded, her teeth clacking together painfully.

“He failed. That’s all that matters.” He seemed to steady himself, pulling away from the same rage that Leia felt pulling on her. “Or so I thought. I didn’t know that the laboratory remained open and running, long after the end of the Empire.  _ Still _ is inventing new and creative methods of death and horror.”

Leia bit the inside of her cheek. Hard. “What does Snoke have?”

Much to her surprise, a horribly bitter expression crossed Anakin’s face. “To be honest, Snoke doesn’t  _ really _ know what it is he has. This…  _ ado-bodhar _ .” Leia frowned. She wasn’t quite sure of the subtleties of the Rhodian language enough to translate that as anything other than  _ super-soldier _ . “I’ve seen him in battle, and I can tell you this…” Anakin shifted his weight, uncomfortable with the words he was saying. “Even at my most powerful, I couldn’t have killed him.”

“And what makes this super-soldier so dangerous?”

Anakin moved suddenly, his gloved hand reaching out to pluck the feather from her fingers. He didn’t look at her, his expression pained as he ran the feather down his own face, tracing the path of his scar.

“He isn’t-”

“Mother?”

Leia tried not to look, but she could have more easily willed her heart to stop beating in her chest. Down the emerald green slope, jagged edges of the First Jedi Temple chopping at the space in front of her, she could see him standing there, at the top of the steps. Anakin was gone, the vision ended, leaving her to her recurring nightmare.

Ben reached up, tugged Darth Vader’s helmet from his head and threw it to the side. “Mother,” he said again. He still looked as he had the last time she’d seen him, still so young, still a child in many ways despite the fiery blade in his hands. She didn’t move, didn’t raise her hands or saber to defend herself as he cut her down again and again and-

Waking at least brought relief from the fire. But two things burned in her mind from her vision of her father.

What happened to someone if they killed their own soulmate?

The second thing took her longer to realize, hitting her several hours later as she poured over an old holo-chart.

Never in Leia’s entire life had she ever seen Anakin smile. But he’d nearly laughed when he said the words ‘murder machine’.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_ In the center of the desert, the air stood still. The sand was bone-white, stretching out in every direction to the edge of the world where the sky was heavy enough to touch the ground. _

__

_ Luke waited, the sand burning his feet and the sun burning his head. He could barely even remember what he was waiting for, but he knew that it was very important. And if he moved it might not happen. _

__

_ A shadow passed over him. He glanced up to see a blackbird soaring overhead. It circled around, wings curling around the hot desert air as it landed a few feet from Luke and looked up at him. _

__

_ They stood near each other for a few minutes, the sun soaking into them, the sky watching them quietly. _

__

_ “You can’t wait forever,” said the blackbird. _

__

_ “Yes I can.” Luke replied, certain in his response. _

__

_ The blackbird looked away. It preened its feathers for a moment, a little vain, conscious of its appearance. “Will you tell me about your mother?” _

__

_ Luke blinked. “What? Why?” _

__

_ “Because you’re the only one who will.” _

__

_ Luke tried to shrug like the request didn’t mean anything. “She was incredible. She was the strongest person I’ve ever known. She believed in me like no one else ever has.” _

__

_ “She believed you could make the galaxy a better place.” _

__

_ Luke clenched his teeth. “Stop that. Don’t… don’t try to say the things she would say.” _

__

_ The blackbird fell quiet. It seemed to be staring at its own shadow. “Luke?” _

__

_ “What?” _

__

_ It looked at him with eyes the same color as the sky. “Do you believe in unforgivable sins?” _

__

_ Luke felt something cold and heavy sink into him, although the desert still burned around him. “What do you mean?” _

__

_ The blackbird gave a strange shiver. “Let’s say, for example, a man kills his own father. Can he ever be forgiven?” _

__

_ The cold thing inside Luke grew. “I didn’t kill my father.” _

__

_ “I didn’t say you had.” _

__

_ “How could you ask me this?” Luke demanded, sinking to his knees so he and the blackbird could see more eye-to-eye. “What kind of  monster would do such a thing? Kill his own father?” _

__

_ “What if his father deserved it?” _

__

_ “It doesn’t matter! My father did horrible things! He killed so many people, betrayed countless others. Led massacres and helped the people who killed my mother-” Luke’s voice broke and he did his best to put it back together. “But he still deserved forgiveness. Everyone does.” _

__

_ “But not the person who kills his own father?” _

__

_ “I don’t know!” Luke shouted. “Stop asking me questions I can’t answer!” _

__

_ The hard-packed sand was hard and unyielding, only a few grains sticking to Luke’s hands as he lifted them to his face. But there weren’t any tears. Just more sand. The blackbird hunched itself smaller. _

_  
“My apologies, Luke.” It shook sand from its feathers and hopped away, getting ready to leave Luke alone again. “I just… hoped that maybe you wouldn’t hate me.” _

 

"Senator?"  
  
  
Luke turned away from the viewport, his hands shaking. He couldn't remember falling asleep, and he was somehow still standing, but that dream was nearly as vivid as the ones he shared with Leia. It felt important, even as he felt the details beginning to fade from his mind.  
  
  
"Captain Gallo, my apologies. How are our guests?"  
  
  
"Getting some food in them, sir."  
  
  
"Good," said Luke. "Good. I'd like to speak with Commander Dameron, as soon as he's eaten. I didn't expect to run into him flying through empty space." He had the feeling that there was a reason for this, that someone had been hiding puzzle pieces from him. Hopefully Poe could tell him a few things.  
  


Although... Luke admitted that Poe probably wouldn't be able to tell him why a bird wanted to ask Luke about his parents.  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Eating real food was not to be ever taken for granted, Poe thought to himself. He wasn’t sure what all the vegetables were called, but the bantha was cooked perfectly and everything was seasoned well and he was nearly in tears as he shoveled food in his mouth. Lor San was eating rather primly, avoiding the meat dishes but sighing a bit dreamily over the meal. Rey was nearly keeping up with Poe as far as sheer volume of food consumed went, but she paused with each bite of something new, closing her eyes for a second like she was memorizing the taste. Finn mostly was just staring at everything and everyone, poking at the leafy greens on the plate in front of him with some disbelief.

Captain Gallo stepped into the room a bit sheepishly. “Commander Dameron,” he said. “Senator Amidala says that he’d like to speak with you as soon as is convenient.”

Poe swallowed, literally, and figuratively swallowed the language he’d been about to use to express how relieved he was to be somewhere that felt safe. “Sure thing, Captain,” he said with a grin. He stood, saw Finn shift like he wanted to go with but wasn’t quite sure. Poor guy wasn’t quite sure of anything. Poe tried to imagine meeting his soulmate without knowing what a soulmate was.

That would have fucking sucked.

Captain Gallo led him through the cruiser to the main cabin. It hardly felt like they were on a starship at all. The ceilings were tall and there were decorative rugs on the floor. Rugs. On a starship.  
  
  
Walking into a room and coming face-to-face with Senator Luke Naberrie Amidala Organa was easier than most things Poe had been through in the last day or two. Especially when Luke smiled and walked over to embrace Poe, somehow mindful of the bruises he couldn't have known were there.

 

"Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance," Luke said warmly. "It's a pleasure to see you, though you look like you went through quite a bit to get here."

Poe grinned. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person. Leia’s told me a lot about you.”

“Likewise,” Luke said. He reached out and shook Poe’s hand with a surprisingly strong grip. “I certainly wasn’t expecting to find you out here, Ace. And on board the  _ Millennium Falcon, _ no less. Leia will get a laugh out of that. What brings you out here?”

Poe shivered, trying not to think about a dark voice that spread through his head like oil over the surface of water. “Special mission, by order of the General. I was… well… We’re being hunted by the First Order, now. Things went a little sideways. I got captured by discount Darth Vader, then rescued by a  _ stormtrooper _ of all people, and now we’re all just trying to get BB-8 back to D’Qar so I can take a nap.” It wasn’t the most eloquent storytelling, but Poe wasn’t kidding about that nap.

Luke had a strangely blank face. “I’m sorry… _discount Darth Vader?_ ”

Poe shrugged, then winced at the pain in his ribs. “Yeah. That asshole Kylo Ren. He’s a piece of work.”

“Ah,” Luke said, that blank expression still hiding exactly what he was thinking. “That explains why  _ you _ were risked on this mission.”

Poe frowned. “Wait, what? General Skywalker sent me because I’m the best pilot in the Resistance.”

“I’m sure that’s what she told you.” Luke tipped his head. “In any case, we should get you back to her as soon as possible. Unfortunately I can’t escort you all the way to the Ileenium system. I need to be on Hosnian Prime in less than twelve standard hours.” His brow pinched in thought. “There  _ is _ a… waypoint, if you will, between here and Hosnian. Have you ever heard of Takodana?”

“No.”

“Good. It’s practically the safest place in the galaxy at the moment. You’ll be able to get from there to D’Qar with help from Maz Kanata. It’s the least I can do to help out. Is there… anything else I can do for you?” Luke asked. “Anything?” He smiled, and Poe found it funny how much he looked like his sister when he smiled. “You’re practically a part of this terrible, dysfunctional family, after all.”

“A shower and a change of clothes would be  _ fantastic _ .” Poe tried really hard not to move his ribs too much. He’d been wearing the stupid binder for over forty-eight hours, and it was starting to really hurt. A spark of mischievousness rose in his mind and crossed his face. “And I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Oh?”

“How old are you?”

  
Luke’s smile grew a little bit wicked. “How old do I look?"

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The cruiser’s galley was sparkling clean, and Finn could see his reflection in lots of surfaces as he poked at the supposed ‘food’ in front of him.

“Those voices that you heard,” Rey said quietly. “Did they really say something about a lost fire?”

“Um… I think so?” Finn shrugged, then froze. He felt hyper-aware of his body and its proximity to Rey. The space between them. Even just shrugging made it worse. Or better. He really wasn’t sure. “It was pretty confusing. Like there was a lot more meaning than I was hearing. Like… the fire wasn’t just a fire, it was every light in the whole galaxy at once, and it wasn’t just  _ lost _ it was… Invisible? Gone? But if I do something, I don’t know what, then maybe it can be…”

Rey was looking at him. Her face and hands were still covered in dust and engine grease and he couldn’t figure out the color of her eyes. “They think you can bring the light back?”

“What are they?” Finn asked. “Those voices?”

Rey studied him for a moment, chewing a piece of food. “They’re the sisters,” she answered. “The Force flows through and is created by life. It is one with everything, and everything flows through it. The sisters are beings that create it more than most life-forms. They’re pretty powerful, but they aren’t really conscious.” She hesitated. “Well…  _ most _ of them aren’t awake. There’s… a few exceptions.”

_ walking sky child _

Finn and Rey both dropped their utensils, startled by how loud and clear the image was in their minds. Finn felt himself breathing hard. The words felt the same as before, but after hearing them once, it was like he could feel what was being said in more detail. A solid image that he could feel on the roof of his mouth.

  
“Oh,” Finn said quietly, staring at the table between them. “That… explains a lot about Kylo Ren.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Poe rolled his eyes. “Well, you don’t look old enough to have fought in the Civil War, that’s for sure, but Leia said that she’s actually old enough to be my mother.”

Luke gave him a shrewd look. “She phrased it like that? Huh. Well…” He shrugged. “She’s right. Leia and I are fifty-three standard years old.”

Poe felt something drop out of the bottom of his stomach. “Holy shit,” he said. “Fifty-three? Really?”

“You didn’t believe her when she told you that we’re functionally immortal?”

The knowledge of how old he actually was gave Luke Amidala’s young-looking features a strange new cast to them. It was easy to see how someone with years of experience could use apparent youth to their advantage. Poe recalled several conversations with General Skywalker, especially that one time he’d joked about how she couldn’t  _ possibly _ have more experience with warfare than anyone else in the Resistance. All she’d done was  _ look _ at him. And her eyes had seemed much older than usual for a moment.

“I guess I didn’t really believe her,” Poe admitted. “She exaggerates a lot.”

Luke sighed. “She does. Well, Ace, you look about ready to collapse. Go take that shower and sleep as much as you can, alright?”

Poe nearly groaned at the thought of a shower. “I bet the amenities here are way better than what they had on Starkiller Base.”

Luke frowned in confusion. “What did you just say?”

“I said the amenities-”

“No.” The Senator shook his head. “The other part.”

“Starkiller Base? That’s what the First Order calls their super-weapon thing.”  
  


  
“Starkiller.” Luke was looking a bit perplexed. “Huh. Snoke must have more of a sense of humor than I gave him credit for.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

His arms felt heavy, aching and fatigued, but Solum Ren started the exercise again, forcing his body into the movements. Maybe, this time, he could forget. He drove his fists into the battered training dummy over and over.  _ What if? _ He wondered, sometimes, what would happen if he unwrapped his hands, let the skin of his knuckles split on the rough fabric over and over. What if he struck so hard he broke his own bones? Mutilated his hands? Could he crush his own body enough to finally be-

 

“Solum Ren.”

 

Solum stopped, staggered a little, then caught himself on the dummy, digging his fingernails in. “Master,” was all he said in response. Supreme Leader Snoke was kind enough to let his rudeness slide, on this occasion.

 

“Something troubles you.”

 

Hanging his head, Solum watched sweat splatter on the stone ground, dripping from his chin and nose. “Yes, Master.”

 

The Supreme Leader’s robes hissed along stone as he took a step closer. “You should speak of it. Burn it out, lest it fester.”

 

Wildly, Solum wished he was wearing his mask. He’d hated it at first, but now he realized that he’d started to rely on it. “It’s…” He couldn’t lie. He’d never been very good at lies. “It’s Kylo Ren, Master.”

 

“What about him?”

 

An irrational desire flooded Solum’s veins. He wanted to hold on tighter to the training dummy, wanted to embrace it, to hide behind it, beg it to protect him. It was the softest thing to exist in this place, but Solum could not afford softness. Instead, he turned to face Supreme Leader Snoke, to look into flint-dark eyes.

 

“Why?” It came out of him a breathy whisper, so he stopped to clear his throat, to put himself back together. “Why did you make him a Knight of Ren? You… you know what he is.”

 

“I do,” his Master said calmly. “But this is the first time you have acknowledged that  _ you _ do, as well.”

 

Solum Ren flinched back, his hands crossing in front of him as he shied from his Master’s gaze. “I… I didn’t...”

 

“You’ve known from the beginning,” murmured the Supreme Leader. “But… you said nothing.  _ That _ is why. Why I made him a Knight. Because you still had hope in him. For him.” Solum Ren blinked, weakness on his mouth and in his eyes, the pain in his chest spreading out into his arms and head. “Hope that he could change, but… no one can become something that they are not. Kylo Ren cannot be anything other than what he is.”

 

“An aberration,” Solum whispered. “A disruption in the natural flow of the Force. Chaos incarnate.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Solumn clenched his hands. “I wish… I wish it didn’t have to be me. I wish I didn’t have to kill him.”

 

“I know. It is a heavy burden you must bear. But… you  _ must. _ For the sake of the galaxy. You are the only one who can restore balance and order.”

 

Solum shuddered. He’d known for a long time that one day he’d have to kill Kylo, but… He hadn’t realized that he’d still been holding onto the hope that somehow that would change, that someone else would be able to fulfill his destiny in his place, or… Master Snoke was wise indeed, to show Solum the error of his thoughts.

 

“You are nearly ready,” Snoke said. “In the meantime, I have another mission for you. One that I think you will find… easier. Enjoyable, even. We just received word that the last piece of the map we need is on its way to Takodana, carried by a BB unit droid. General Skywalker will soon know of its location, as well. Intercept it before she can get there. Speed is essential.”

 

“Yes, Master. I’ll leave immediately.”

 

“Oh, and… If you happen to kill Han Solo while you are there, that would be good practice for you.”

 

The fire inside of Solum Ren flared white-hot, and the training dummy burst into flame. He absently brushed a piece of ash from his sleeve.

  
“Yes, Master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke squirmed a little bit, the new finery he wore still stiff and crisp against his skin. Mother was smiling at him so brightly, with tears of pride in her eyes.
> 
> “Sorry,” she said softly, dabbing at her face with the back of her hand. “I just… I’m so proud of you, Luke.”
> 
> He didn’t feel like he’d really accomplished much, to be honest. The Organas adored him and Padmé. Once it became clear that they really wouldn’t ever have their own children, pretty much everyone on Alderaan had seen this coming. Luke Naberrie Amidala named as the heir to the throne of Alderaan. It didn’t mean that much. Not in his generation. Not under the Empire.
> 
> Mother’s gaze focused more sharply on him. She knew him well. Better than he knew himself, he figured.
> 
> “Luke,” she said softly. “Never take this for granted. You can do so much good. A good leader-”
> 
> “Serves the people. I know.” Hadn’t she impressed that on him from his earliest memories? “I just… don’t know that it’ll be enough.”
> 
> She took his face in both of her hands. “Enough for what?” she asked. “If you can make even one single person’s life better, no… If you can prevent even one person’s life from growing worse, then it’s more than enough. Do you understand me?”
> 
> He thought he did. “Yes.”
> 
> She lowered her hands to his shoulders. It felt comforting, with her staring up at him like that, determination in her gaze. “For a person who has spent his life trying to gain more of it, I don’t think Palpatine knows what power really is.” Before Luke could say anything about the dangers of speaking about the Emperor so informally, Mother was shrugging and running her hands over Luke’s new clothes. “He certainly doesn’t seem like a happy person, does he. Has everything that he wants, and doesn’t know what to do with it.”
> 
> There was iron in Padmé’s eyes when she smiled up at Luke again. “Sorry.”
> 
> He grinned at her. “I kind of like it when you get all riled up.”
> 
> She rolled her eyes and lightly smacked him on his shoulder. “I have something for you.”
> 
> “Besides really good advice?”
> 
> Mother only smiled, her hands moving to the deep pockets of her gown. “Close your eyes.”
> 
> He did, and felt her press something small into the palm of his hand before closing her fingers around his.
> 
> “It’s called a japor snippet. Your father gave it to me, a very long time ago. He would want you to have it.”
> 
> Luke opened his eyes and stared down at the small, well, snippet was a good word for it. A rough carving adorned it, a square and some wavy lines.
> 
> “When he gave it to me, he said it was a good luck charm. After getting to know him better, I figured out what it really meant.”
> 
> Luke traced a fingertip over the small carving. Mother’s words sank in, and he looked up at her again, a bit confused. He bit his tongue against asking out loud. She’d made it very clear how dangerous the truth about Anakin Skywalker was. That he’d been a Jedi Knight, an enemy of the Empire: a member of the very order that the Empire had eradicated to consolidate power. And if that truth were known-
> 
> “I never told you how I met him,” she said softly. “He was… When he and I met, Luke, he was a slave.”
> 
> That didn’t make sense. “But I thought that slavery was-”
> 
> “Illegal under the Old Republic? It was. Officially. That doesn’t mean it didn’t exist, as I learned that day.” Carefully, she lifted the charm from his hands and reached up to secure it around his neck. “I think that many people forgot where he had come from. That there was a reason he didn’t like people telling him what to do. It was never just stubbornness or pride. He valued his freedom above everything else. The only things he held dearer were the people he loved.”
> 
> Her eyes were dry, now, as she smiled up at Luke and tapped the pendant sitting on his collarbone.
> 
> “It means ‘I am free’.”


	8. Ghost Love Score

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My fall will be for you.
> 
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> 
>  
> 
> (you guys have no idea how long i deliberated on that chapter title. The other options were all unnecessarily cruel.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The streets and towers of Coruscant were alight with chaos. Innocent people, clone-troopers, protesters all tangled together in a buzzing, shadowy mass of blood and fear.
> 
> Winding through narrow alleyways and up twisted metal stairways, Shmi kept her mind focused as much as she could. The pain Anakin was feeling kept pulling at her thoughts, tugging at the ties she kept with her child. She staggered as a fresh wave of agony swept over him, and the fear and anger rose and rose…
> 
> At the level of the Jedi Temple, Shmi stopped. Anakin’s mind had gone quiet. Had he noticed that their bond was open, and deliberately closed it? Or was something worse happening?
> 
> Shmi constructed her shield around herself, sweat stinging her eyes. She was getting weary, and wouldn’t be able to spend long here. Not with this Sith Lord hunting down Jedi and any like them, determined to make himself the most powerful Force in the galaxy by simple process of elimination.
> 
> She slipped into the Temple between two clone-trooper patrols. The smell was condemning, the tang of fresh blood and the sick-sweet smell of blaster-burned flesh. She did not look at the bodies on the floor, or at the burns on the walls. Never had she thought she would return here.
> 
> The Force called her deep into the temple, past long smears of red-brown and crumpled figures. Many times had she wished destruction upon the prideful Jedi, but this… there were children’s bodies, scattered among the rest. The Force bled, here, the pain and fear staining the very stone and steel. Still, the sisters guided her, their gentle thoughts, though pained, telling her that something was needed. Something that she needed to retrieve before anyone else could.
> 
> The doors to the grand Archive stood open, one hanging crookedly. Her steps more sure, now, Shmi walked to the back, to the more secure vaults, the information that was most valuable.
> 
> She wasn’t really sure, later, how she broke past all of the security measures without setting off any alarms. The Force must have been with her.
> 
> Deep in the vaults, not quite in the highest prority spaces reserved for the most dangerous of information, she found what she was looking for. It was no ancient Sith holocron that could drive a mind to insanity with a touch or sacred records only the Masters could read.
> 
> No, it wasn’t even encoded. The foolish Jedi had no idea what they had. The map was stored on a simple unencrypted data drive, kept in a regular lockbox sitting out on an open shelf.
> 
> Shmi closed her eyes, the map held in her hands. She pulled it close to her chest and bowed her head over it. And she felt her Ani’s mind slip away, beyond where she could reach.
> 
> For the first time in many years, Shmi remembered what true grief felt like.

“So… who is this Solum Ren person, exactly?”

 

Kylo tried very hard not to trip over his robes as he turned to leave the holoprojector room and mostly succeeded. Hux matched him stride-for stride once his steps steadied, their shoulders brushing against each other as they walked. Kylo took a moment to center himself and think about how to answer Hux’s question without Hux punching him in the face and stranding him on an asteroid.

 

“Solum Ren is the Master of the Knights of Ren,” Kylo explained, his hands fidgeting with his helmet, his gloves. Hux already knew that much, though. “Some people also call him the Beast of Ren. He’s been in the Order about ten years longer than I have.” He shot Hux a dark smile. “And he will finally be where I can reach him.”

 

Hux frowned. Kylo could feel his mind putting pieces together. Such a dangerous mind. Kylo let himself indulge in a fond smile. “Is he a Force-user?”

 

“Yes,” said Kylo dismissively. “But I’m stronger. Although… I, ah… I will need your help, when he gets here.”

 

Hux was visibly startled. “ _My_ help?” His surprise was understandable. In most cases, Kylo would rather rip his own arms off than ask anyone for help so blatantly. This was no time for pride, however. There were a lot of lives on the line.

 

“Yes. He’s… difficult to keep track of. While he’s here, I’d like to have security monitoring his location at all times. A live holo-feed, maybe. Dedicated security personnel. Whatever. I just need sentient eyes on him every second that he’s on either Starkiller Base or the _Finalizer_.”

 

“Why not just track him through the Force? I know you don’t like reading minds, but-”

 

And that… was the problem, wasn’t it? Kylo’s face twisted, a sour taste in the back of his mouth. He stopped walking, and Hux stopped next to him. “I can’t.”

 

“You _can’t?”_

 

The truth almost spilled out, but it tangled in his tongue and his mind. The truth. The truth was… too horrible to think about. Kylo pulled his mind back from the brink of it. The truth that Hux wasn’t ready for. Hell, Kylo wasn’t ready for it, either, but...

 

“He doesn’t have a Force-signature.”

 

Hux held his shoulders straight, but Kylo saw his jaw clench, the pale of his eyes flicker. “I thought you said every living thing has a signature in the Force.”

 

“Well, this guy _doesn’t,_ ” Kylo growled. “It’s the creepiest thing. Having a conversation with him is like talking with a corpse. There’s nothing _there."_

 

“How is that possible? Is he some kind of droid? Or-”

 

“I don’t _know_ how,” Kylo snapped, his teeth grinding against each other. “I… have a few theories, though. None of them pleasant. Have you ever heard of Darth Nihilus? He’s the closest thing I’ve been able to find in Sith history to what Solum Ren is. Darth Nihilus was a… a _wound_ in the Force. Solum Ren is perhaps better described as a Void.”

 

“A void in the Force,” Hux repeated, his tone slightly mocking.

 

“Or an Abomination,” Kylo said with a lopsided shrug. “Whichever is easier to remember.”

 

“But you said he uses the Force.”

 

“He uses the Unified Force. Different philosophical approaches. I wouldn’t mind asking him about it, actually. His senses might be stunted as a result…”

 

“How do the Knights of Ren determine their Master?”

 

Kylo blinked at the change in subject. “Thinking of appointing your own candidate, General?”

 

“Not at all,” Hux replied evenly. “I’m simply curious. And… I wonder why _you_ aren’t Master of the Knights.”

 

Kylo snorted and put his helmet back on as they stepped into more populated hallways. “You mean besides the fact that I would gag every time someone called me that?” He hoped the helmet hid how hard he was blushing at Hux’s indirect praise of his abilities. “The Master of the Knights of Ren is whoever killed the previous Master. Whether they are a Knight already or not.”

 

“What if the Master dies of natural causes?”

  
Kylo laughed so hard he had to lean against the wall.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“Um. So…” Rey hunched her shoulders, her elbows straight and her hands clasped together. “You...were a stormtrooper.”

 

Finn found himself mimicking her pose. It wasn’t really comfortable, but he couldn’t seem to figure out where else to put his arms as they sat across from each other in the small guest cabin aboard this strange Republic luxury cruiser. “Uh, yeah.” Was he supposed to say more? Memories and words snarled up in his head, and the quiet stretched more and more awkwardly… “You… scavenge for old ship parts?”

 

“Uh-huh. Ah…” Rey looked down at her hands, then at the door, then out the viewport, then back at him, a crooked, expectant half-smile on her face. “How… do you know Kylo?”

 

Finn wondered how many times he could say the name 'Kylo’ in one day before a freak asteroid collided with the ship and killed them all. Best not to risk it.

 

“ _He_ , um… is kind of my boss.” Finn paused. “Or he was. I guess I’m really not with the First Order anymore. He’s the… um, one of the Commanders at, uh, Starkiller Base.” He ran out of breath, and so paused to refill him lungs. Rey was just looking at him with a weird smile. “And he was training me in the Force. You… you already know what the Force is. I didn't, before he told me. How do _you_ know him?”

 

Rey slowly put a hand over her mouth, her eyes huge and scary but still pretty. “He was _teaching_ you? Does anyone else know?”

 

 _Well, General Hux does, but he doesn't care. Captain Phasma does, too. She cares a lot._ “I haven't ever told anyone but you,” Finn said. “A couple of people in the First Order know, but…”

 

“You should definitely keep it a secret as long as you can,” Rey said, her tone low and serious. “I'm glad you told me.” Her hand settled back in her lap and she grinned. “He must like you. That's good.”

 

“Wait, but, how do you know him?”

 

“You’ll have to keep it a secret if I tell you,” she said. Then told him anyway. “He’s my brother.”

 

Finn’s mind came to a screeching halt. The gears of his mind heated from the friction of the sudden stop, and he felt himself frown, then squint, then scrunch his face up in kind of disbelief. “Brother? I… wait… you’re his sister? Like you’re related? By… biological… things?”

 

“Yep,” Rey said with a shrug, rubbing at her nose with the back of her hand. “Biologically. Like I said, don’t tell anyone. I’m only telling you because... “ Her eyes flickered up to his, vulnerable. Finn didn’t know what to do about how that twisted in his stomach. “Because if he’s been training you, he must trust you. That’s good.” She grinned, the vulnerability gone in a flash. “That means I can trust you, too. That’s a good quality in a soulmate, right?”

 

Finn shrugged. “I… guess?” He was already a secretkeeper. Secrets were important, sometimes. This… this was a big secret. Given what horrible things he had accidentally picked out of Kylo’s head on numerous occasions, the fact that he’d never seen that Kylo Ren had a sister meant that this was really, _really_ important. That, or… “Does… he… _know_ that you’re his sister?”

  
Rey’s face went pale, and she drew herself up as tall in her seat as she could. “He’d _better_ know!” She snapped with lightning in her voice. “If that sleemo’s given himself amnesia again I’m going to punch him in the face!”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m very glad you’ve decided to join me.”

 

“Well, the offer is much appreciated, Luke,” Lor San Tekka said with a weary smile. “I’m certainly not as young as I used to be. Did I ever tell you about the Theodisian Civil War? Those were some muddy battles in the bogs, and I went for three days at a time with no rest-”

 

“I’m certain you did,” Luke said weakly. Now was not the time for the old adventurer to go on yet another adventure. “I’m glad you will be accompanying me to Hosnian Prime. Your advice and support will be much appreciated.”

 

“Of course, of course.”

 

Luke smiled across the small hangar at Poe Dameron and very carefully did not make actual eye contact with his… other companions… as they boarded the shuttle to fly down to Takodana’s surface. If he pretended very very hard that _certain people_ were still where they were supposed to be, then they could both pretend that things were still going to go the way they were supposed to.

 

After all, the plan didn’t technically require that Rey stay on Jakku. She just needed to stay unnoticed. Convenient that she found some wide-eyed young man with a bright enough Force-signature that she could camouflage her own. And if she could figure out a way to split from them before they went to D’Qar...

 

_Stop worrying so loud, Luke._

 

_Sorry, Leia._

 

_Just… don’t think about her any louder. Let her do what she needs to. She’s good at hiding in plain sight._

 

It helped that Rey was also very carefully not looking directly at Luke. He held back a sigh. _Someday,_ he thought a bit wistfully. Someday he was going to get all of his living relatives in one room together. And hopefully that room would still be standing, afterwards. Uncle Owen was still toting around that compact recurve lightbow, after all. _Far_ too much firepower for one human in their seventies to carry on their person, in Luke’s opinion.

 

Commander Dameron held out his hand towards Luke. “It was good seeing you,” he said. “Hopefully we can go get drinks after all this blows over, right?”

 

“I certainly hope so,” Luke said with a sincere smile. The future felt fuzzy and uncertain, but he kept holding onto the the bright spark in his head. It hadn’t ever failed him, before. “May the Force be with you, Ace.”

 

“You too, Senator,” Poe grinned.

 

Luke watched the small shuttle detach from the cruiser, drifting down through the atmosphere. They’d probably be alright. Although… there did seem to be something strange going on with the planet’s presence in the Force. It didn’t seem to be bad, exactly, just… different. Staring down at the blue-green sphere, Luke wondered what it was that had changed since he’d been here last. If even without real training he was sensing it, it must be something pretty big.

 

He let go of his nerves, his fears. If something dangerous waited on the planet, either he or Leia (or Rey) would notice. Most likely.

 

“You have it?” Luke asked.

 

“I do.” Lor San Tekka reached into his pocket and pulled out the small, ancient data disk and handed it to Luke. “I even made sure that the droid still thinks it has it, just as you asked.”

 

Luke sighed heavily, his fingers tracing over the edges of the tiny thing. “Thank you, old friend. You know what this is?” Luke said softly.

 

“A map,” Lor San responded immediately. “A piece of a map. At least that’s what your grandmother told me.”

 

“It’s a piece of a wish,” Luke said. “A wish that never came true. And now it’s become far too dangerous.”

 

Lor San Tekka frowned. “I don’t understand what you mean, Luke.”

 

“We already know where this map leads.”

 

The old priest leaned forward, his sharp eyes examining Luke’s features closely. “Shmi told me that the map had to be hidden,” Lor San said slowly. “To prevent the Empire, and then the First Order, from finding the First Jedi Temple and the secrets of the Viem.”

 

“Then why didn’t she just destroy it?” Luke asked, his eyes blue and clear and full of pain. “If hiding the information was what she wanted most, she would never have stolen the map in the first place. She would have destroyed it during the Purge. No… like I said, this is a wish. My grandmother’s wish to see her child again. She wanted my father to find the pieces and follow them back home to her…”

 

The cruiser drifted away from the planet, the gleaming landscape shrinking in the viewport.

 

 _“Entering hyperspace in thirty seconds…”_ came the pilot’s voice over the intercom.

 

“He never did,” Luke continued. “And now her wish has put the entire galaxy in danger. The pieces she hid away have been found by the wrong people, and if they find the First Temple… and what’s hidden there…”

  
Looking down at the fragment in his hand, Luke’s voice grew harder. “This should have been destroyed a long time ago.” He clenched his fist around it. “Let’s go melt it down.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The castle, cantina, bar, whatever place was _crowded._  Not that Poe minded, really. It mostly reminded him of late evenings at the Resistance Base on D’Qar. Except with without Snap making everyone listen to the latest song by Fetter and the Swoopers on repeat until someone unplugged the decrepit box player.

 

“Wait,” Poe frowned, his eyes scanning the room. “Where’d Rey go?”

 

“Um, downstairs?” Finn offered. “She said she needed to find the ‘fresher.”

 

“There is someone she needs to speak to,” said their diminutive hostess. “As for you two, you must come with me. There is a story you need to hear.”

 

Maz Kanata was a strange one, indeed. Poe found he rather liked her. Her straightforward and no-nonsense way of speaking was like a breath of fresh air.

 

 _:Poe, I want to meet everyone here!:_ BB-8 chirped excitedly.

 

“Don’t wander off,” Po warned the little droid at his heels. “We’re going to leave again as soon as we can get a clean ship.”

 

A rumble ran up the floor and into Poe’s bones, the sound making him crane his head around to search the bar.

 

“Chewbacca!” Maz crooned affectionately. Poe couldn’t help but stare at the Wookiee that was leaning up against the wall at the back of the room. He actually hadn’t met very many Wookiees in his days.

 

Chewbacca grumbled again, and Maz tilted her head. Poe glanced at Finn, who was staring at everything in the room as much as he could. Finn leaned slightly closer to him, and pretty much out of instinct Poe took his hand to comfort him. “You don’t think there’s any First Order sympathizers here, do you?”

 

Poe had been doing a very good job of not wondering about that. “Nah,” he insisted. Reassuring both Finn and himself. “We’re safe here.”

 

“These two?” Maz said, glancing back at the two of them. “Just a cute pair of boyfriends looking for a ship. How drunk is Han right now?”

 

A very short little purr-growl was all Chewbacca said, but Maz scowled at him.

 

“You are far too charming for your own good,” she said, shaking her head. “Just… make sure Han doesn’t notice these boys. They’re with Rey.”

 

The Wookiee stood silently for a second, then sighed heavily.

 

“I know, I know,” Maz said consolingly as they walked past. “I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.”

 

She led them to the very back, up a narrow flight of stairs and through a wooden door that creaked shut behind them and locked itself. The room was small, but cozy, with layers of cushions and colorful blankets strewn across the floor. Tall cabinets with transparisteel in front of them housed dozens of strange objects that Poe couldn’t name.

 

“Have a seat,” Maz said, gesturing to the floor. “Tell me. Have either of you ever heard the Legend of the Prodigal Knight?”

 

Poe frowned. “Can’t say that I have.”

 

Finn looked… not comfortable with sitting on the floor, but he’d picked up an embroidered pillow and was running his fingertips over the colorful stitches. “The only stories I’ve heard are ‘trooper stories. And, um… I guess Darth Vader stories overlap with those.”

 

Maz hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe I will ask you to tell them to me sometime, child. There is value in stories, if we know where they come from. This story I will tell you is an old Jedi story. It’s so old that in the last thousand years of the Republic, the Jedi forgot it. They forgot the lessons that it taught, and the importance of those lessons.” She smiled. “It’s even older than I am!

 

“A very very long time ago, there was a strong and wise Jedi Knight. He loved learning, and loved helping others. So when the wars came, as they so often do, this young Knight wanted to use his knowledge to help protect the galaxy. The Jedi Council, however, did not want to become tangled up in the war. They were peacekeepers, and wanted to remain neutral in the conflict. The young Knight… disagreed. And many disagreed _with_ him. Thus, when Revan fell to the Dark Side and became the Sith Lord Darth Revan, he took a large number of fellow Jedi with him.”

 

“Under his command, the Sith grew in number and power. Very soon, the Jedi were fighting in a war far worse than the one they had earlier tried to avoid. Darth Revan was, to many, nothing less than pure evil. However…”

 

Maz smiled and leaned back. “During one battle, Darth Revan was captured by the Jedi, and his memory, indeed, it seemed his entire identity was erased. The Jedi were a bit conflicted at this point, you see. How can a man be condemned for crimes that he does not remember? Was the evil of Darth Revan dead, or merely in hibernation? Memories are the architecture of our identities, after all. Most of the time we are who our memories tell us we are. So, the Jedi decided to give Revan a chance. They implanted a few new memories, just enough for him to get by.”

 

“That sounds like a recipe for disaster,” Poe muttered. Finn shifted uneasily in his seat. Poe wondered if all the talk about memories and identity were sitting well with the rogue ‘trooper. How much identity were stormtroopers allowed?

 

“It easily could have been a disaster,” Maz replied. “But, much to everyone’s surprise, _especially_ Revan’s, when his memories began to return he didn’t take back his old title. He refused to reclaim the mantle of Lord of the Sith, even when he easily could have. Instead, he once again became a Jedi Knight. Even stronger and more courageous than he had been before. You see, that is what the Jedi forgot, when they let this story slip from their teachings. Even the Darkest can return to the Light, no matter how far they have fallen. There is no such thing as an unforgivable sin.

 

“The Force must always return to balance. Balance is not the same as calm, and it is not the opposite of chaos. Balance is harmony. Balance means seeing the entire spectrum of color, not just black and white. Balance means hearing the entire symphony, not just a single note. One who has seen more sides and heard more songs is better off and stronger than someone who has only ever seen or heard one. The Dark is dangerous, yes, and we must not allow ourselves to succumb to it. But we should not condemn those who are swept under by the waves. And we must remember that the call of the Light still burns in the Darkness like the need for air when deep underwater.”

 

“Memories are the architecture of our identity,” Finn murmured, his brow creased in thought. “And names are like clothes.”

 

Poe rubbed at his chin. “Maz, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you say we needed to hear this story?”

  
“Oh, forgive me,” she said, adjusting her goggles. “I got sidetracked. During the war that was sparked by Revan’s new Sith Empire, the Jedi turned to a weapon that they later regretted. The Viem. And it is _that_ story, the story of the Ones That Walk, you need to hear.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

A shadowy figure drifted quietly through the halls of Starkiller base. He had no need to be noticed at this time, so he wasn’t. A pair of stormtroopers marched past, mere feet away, unaware of anything but a cold feeling against the backs of their necks that soon passed. The figure moved onward, deeper into the base.

 

Silent as the grave, which is not quite as silent as most people believe.

 

At last, he reached the wide double-doors. They opened at his gesture, and black fabric fluttered like feathers after him as he stepped inside.

 

The cavernous room was dark, and no faint echo of sound resonated from the gloomy edges. The figure floated down the walkway, and his hand hovered over a control panel. He stopped, considering this move. After a few moments, he moved away from the panel, positioning himself at the center of the room. A moment’s more hesitation, and slowly he reached up, pushing the hood back and unclasping the helmet to lift it away from his head. He held it loosely at his side, and with the other hand he gestured at the control panel.

 

Seconds later, the air in the room shimmered, sparks of pale blue light coalescing into a massive holo-image that towered over the figure. Snoke’s cold expression flickered with momentary surprise. He quickly recovered, though, placing a hand over where his heart presumably was and bowing as deeply as his throne would allow.

 

“My Lord Darth Vader,” he intoned, speaking the name with near sincere reverence. “You honor me. At last you stand before me… _unmasked_.”

 

“Plagueis,” Darth Vader said, flat and toneless. “The sentiment is not reciprocated.”

 

Snoke stilled for an instant. “I must admit,” the glimmering giant intoned. “I am… surprised that you would contact me, and so late in the game. Your refusal of my previous offer was… emphatic.”

 

“Yeah.” Vader shrugged. “I’m still pissed at you about that, but… I figured I’d make a… counteroffer.”

 

Snoke again went immobile, though Vader caught a faint spark of interest that he was trying to hide. “Again you surprise me, My Lord Vader. You’ve never been known for… negotiation.”

 

“Well, I’m just _full_ of surprises,” Vader said, clipping the words out.

 

“Very well. I will hear your counteroffer.”

 

Vader crossed his arms in front of him, tipping his head back and letting his hair fall away from his face. “Here’s the deal. You will release every hold you have over my grandson. Set him completely free.”

 

Plagueis stared at him for a moment. “And?”

 

A few ticks, and Vader shrugged. “And nothing. That’s the deal.”

 

“That isn’t how negotiation works, My Lord Vader. Usually something is offered in return.”

 

“I’m not giving you anything in return. I’m rather selfish. It’s a failing.”

 

Plagueis snarled, his voice grating through the air like shards of glass. “Still you struggle, as if you have a chance. You think yourself so powerful, but you are a pawn of sand, falling apart between my fingers-”

 

“I could say the same thing to you,” Vader said. “You really believe that you could harass my family for years and I would just sit back and _let_ you? _Please._ What exactly do you think I’ve been doing in my spare time? I’ll give you a hint. I haven’t been sitting on a throne, kidnapping children and sending them to build planet-sized weapons and slaughter sentients...”

 

Plagueis made a noise of disgust. “I often wondered, over the years, why it was that Sidious insisted on building that suit of yours in such a way to restrict your ability to speak, but after being subjected to your inane chatter I see why he chose to muzzle y-”

 

Vader reached out one hand, and Snoke halted, his words choked off. By pure reflex, he lifted a hand to his throat, his eyes wide and mad. A snarl crossed his face, but a flicker of fear stole it away when Vader flexed his fingers ever so slightly.

 

“I will make something very clear to you, Plagueis,” Vader said slowly, his voice darker than the room. “And I’ll use _small_ words to make sure you understand me. I am no longer a pawn and I am _done_ playing games. The only reason you aren’t already dead is because I haven’t yet figured out all of what you’ve done to Ben. But as soon as I do...”

 

Snoke was laughing, or trying to, his shoulders moving with the non-existent sound. “You don’t care about that boy… " He rasped like shards of glass across slate. "Just the danger his is, now.”

 

Vader clenched his hands, and Snoke’s grip on his armrests tightened. “Do _not_ provoke me, Snoke…”

 

“He would have done anything for you!” Snoke grinned, rictus and skull-like. “Did you know that, Vader? Your grandson admired you so, he would have done _anything!_ Now he screams alone. He _curses_ you! Not even in _death_ will he forgive you.”

 

The room grew impossibly darker. “I would suffer _every agony_ if I could spare him _one second_ of pain!” Vader could feel the Force stuttering and tearing around him. It’d been a long time since he was angry enough for it to do that, for darkness to bleach his eyes gold and drip from his teeth like blood. “And _you,_ vile thing, will _suffer_ for what you’ve done to my family.”

 

With that promise of imminent violence, Vader stormed from the room before he could lose control and crush Snoke's throat. Darkness still gathered around him in a death shroud. He stalked down the corridor, the Force still flickering around him like flashes of negative lightning.

 

“Out of my _way_!” he roared at a pair of stormtroopers, ignoring them as they followed his command. He didn’t bother to look back and see them try to continue on their way like nothing had just happened.

 

They made it a fair distance, but after only two minutes, FS-2109 cracked a little. “I didn’t expect him to be that pretty,” she whispered.

 

“Yeah,” said FS-2100. “You owe Bars a cleaning rotation, now.”

 

“Damn.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “A long time ago, in an endless desert, a man named Revan walked into a junk shop and shook the sand from his clothes.
> 
> “‘Ah!’ said the shop owner. ‘You must be an off-worlder, because you wear black leather in the desert!’”
> 
> Ben giggled. This was one of his favorites. Shmi smiled and switched to a lower, melodious voice.
> 
> “‘I need a protocol droid,’ said Revan. ‘A translator who can talk to the Sand People’.”
> 
> “‘You are in luck indeed! I have the perfect protocol droid for you right here!’”
> 
> Shmi leaned a little bit closer the Ben’s bed, his huge eyes staring up at her with all the wonder in the galaxy. “Revan haggled with the best of them, and handed over the credits with a smile. He went up to his new droid, who didn’t really look much like a protocol droid.”
> 
> Ben snuggled deeper into his blankets with a yawn and a wide grin. This was his favorite part. Grandmother always did the droid voice perfectly.
> 
> “‘Statement: I see you have purchased me, master. I find this a satisfactory arrangement. Am I to accompany you now? Shall I kill something for you?’ Revan hesitated. He could not remember ever meeting a droid so eager for violence. Was that really part of its programming? ‘Answer,’ said the droid. ‘I am most eager to engage in some unadulterated violence! At your command of course, master. My gears are practically quivering with anticipation.’ As Revan went to leave, the droid leaned a little bit closer, like it was sharing a secret. ‘Query: Master, the scrap dealer you purchased me from. Can I kill him now? I would like ever so much to crush his neck. Just a little. It’s been a long time fantasy of mine.’”
> 
> Ben dissolved into sleepy, hiccuping giggles, and Shmi leaned over to kiss his forehead. “And that is how,” she added. “Revan accidently bought his own assassination droid that he’d forgotten he built.”
> 
> “And went on to save the galaxy?” Ben’s eyes were drifting shut, heavy with sleep. Shmi ran her hand through the curls on his forehead and nodded.
> 
> “Yes. And went on to save the galaxy.”
> 
> “Just like Mom and Luke?”
> 
> “Of course, dear one. Just like your mother and Luke.”
> 
> “When I grow up,” Ben mumbled, his eyes fully closed. “I’ll be a brave Knight. Just like Mom. Just like Revan.”
> 
> Shmi kissed his cheek and smiled over her shoulder at Leia, curled up in her own chair across the room, sound asleep with three datapads on her lap.
> 
> “You will, dear one. You will.”


	9. The Firewalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you paying attention to the world-building I've been doing in the other fics: yes. The Firewalker is exactly who you think it is.
> 
> _-The Firewalker’s Song_
> 
> _I am not strong enough  
>  To bear the distance  
> Between your heart and mine_
> 
> _But I must carry it  
>  I will carry it in my eyes_
> 
> _Even the oceans  
>  Do not know  
> How far I will go  
> How far I am going_
> 
> _How far I will walk through fire  
>  To see your ocean eyes  
> And feel them soften the sun_
> 
> _But I must carry it  
>  I will carry it in my arms_
> 
> _Until every sea is dry  
>  And all the stones  
> Have melted away_
> 
> _Still the embers will burn  
>  Waiting for a breath  
> Only a breath  
> To alight once more_
> 
> _But I must carry them  
>  I will carry them in my mouth_
> 
> _Waiting for your breath  
>  (In my mouth)  
> To let them burn again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wind whipped his robes around his legs, sand pattered against the goggles over his eyes as he walked from the speeder to the small house. “House” might actually be too large of a word for it, he thought. More like a hut. It was difficult to imagine a person living here.
> 
> Except that Anaath Ren knew very well how strange of places a person could survive in. Not live, really, but survive.
> 
> Anaath knew he shouldn’t be here. Snoke hadn’t specifically forbidden it, but if he found out then surely Anaath would face some painful consequences. Again. If he hadn’t read the prophecies himself, if the other Knights hadn’t assured him that they needed to use Snoke, he would…
> 
> Ah, well. No time for fanciful imaginings. A storm was coming. And storms on Tatooine were dangerous.
> 
> He ducked into the hut just as the wind picked up, the silence falling into place around him. Anaath closed his eyes, felt the gentle movements of the Force around him, pressing against him inside and out. There was sadness, here. A lingering melancholy with an edge of bitter regret. But even those emotions were subdued compared to other places he’d visited, tempered by a strong will.
> 
> So this was the dwelling of a Jedi.
> 
> The soft tugging at his bones pulled him out of his trance, let him pull off his mask and breathe in the dust and sparking static. It was here, somewhere. Laid over the top of the Jedi’s Force-signature like cobwebs. A shadow that had passed over this place only briefly, but forever scarring it.
> 
> Anaath walked to the back shelf. It wasn’t even hidden, or protected by anything other than its remote location and nauseating gravity of power. Carefully, he picked up the palm-sized pyramid, the edges of which didn’t seem to meet up right in his peripheral vision, and when he tried to count the sides he wasn’t really sure if he was correct.
> 
> Tamping down his eagerness, Anaath pulled off one of his gloves and touched the holocron with his fingertips.
> 
> _I am the Last. Qoritoksh Qotsisajack nunjontu. The Path of the Sith will end with me, Jen’ari Dzadûr Taral. I will not take on an apprentice… and so I suppose this is the last Sith Holocron, as well…_
> 
> _There is one remaining, however, who dares call himself Sith’ari. He will pay for his sacrilegious arrogance, and then, perhaps… kotswinoksh itsu..._

Rey followed the whispers down the stairs, the gentle voice singing in her bones. Down the hallway, through the nondescript door to the left.

 

The room wasn’t large, stacks of crates making it feel even smaller, and a thin layer of dust coated everything, settled onto grains of wood and fabric, letting Rey leave faint footprints in it. The taste of it was light and dry and sharp, but still green, like everything else on this planet. At the the back of the room, the wall was smooth stone, seemingly carved into the foundation of the castle.

Seemingly. The subtle Force-dampening shield Rey could sense just on the other side of it said otherwise.

 

Rey smiled, weaving her way through the clutter so she could reach out and touch the stone of the wall. “How are you, sweetheart?” she whispered.

 

The Viem stirred, the movement slow like the shifting of a sleeping creature. Which was exactly what it was, Rey reminded herself.

 

_ arrival walking child (between-star-flight) journey stone-face-under-worn-hands-smile (kyber(sky)) _

 

“That sounds like it was quite exciting,” Rey murmured. “Do you know why Kylo brought you here? It’s not really like him to get involved with the sisters this directly.”

 

_ (worlds) dream/black/feather-heart death (sorrow/loss) killingstar A thin bridge stretched out over the abyss. The reflection of fire flickering on a metal face turned towards the sky. _

 

Rey frowned. That first part she understood well enough, in the way of the sisters. The second part, though, hadn’t been as… metaphorical. It felt real, like a vision. Or maybe the memory of a vision. Filtered through a mind that thought in spoken language. Had the sister picked it from Kylo’s mind? Or someone else’s?

 

“I’m glad Kylo got you out of there, then,” Rey murmured. “The galaxy would have less Light in it without you.”

 

_ kyber (sword) _

 

Rey turned. Looked back into the cluttered room. A rough wooden chest sat inconspicuously on top of a stack of cloth-covered knick-knacks.

 

“There?”

 

_ yes _

 

She let her hand fall away from the wall, the stone rubbing lightly at her fingertips. Her knees trembled with excitement. With no small degree of apprehension, she lifted the lid of the chest. There it lay, gleaming silver in the dim light. The handle of a lightsaber.

 

_ His  _ lightsaber.

 

With shaking fingers, she reached out and picked it up.

 

_ A god of war I shall be. _

 

_she stood framed by sunlight_

 

_ Can’t breathe. Can’t speak. Can’t weep. _

  
  


_ Perhaps you should accept death now. It is _

  
  


_ so _

 

_ much _

 

_ easier _

  
  


_ than what is to come _

  
  
  


_ The narrow metal hall collapses in. Nothing but fear. _

 

_ The strongest stars have hearts of kyber. _

 

_ Please let me die. Please let her live. Please let me die. Please… _

 

_ If I kill her, it will all truly end. _

 

_ The hall spins, the floor is gone, staggering blind. Ignite.  _

 

_ The darkness approaches, collapsing the walls as it creeps forward. The darkness crawls. The darkness follows. The darkness walks on bleeding legs... _

 

_ Is the mask truly all you see? _

 

_ like a young child waking from sleep in a strange place with strange people _

 

_ Leia? Her name is Leia? _

 

_ Such a lonely fire...  _

_ I didn’t mean to! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! A silver skull and a golden lightsaber. Rain is falling through the hole in his heart- _

 

_ Hands sticky with it. Blood. So many bodies… A child burned and dead on the temple floor. Red. I didn’t want this I didn’t want this I didn’t _

 

_ Snow is falling through the window. It drifts (like feathers) inside to melt into the pool of still-warm blood on the bed. Stay. Stay with me. I don’t want this- _

 

_ Please don’t leave me... _

 

_ Don’t leave me! _

  
  
  


_ nothing left nothing left n o t h i n g left nothing left nothing left _

  
  
  
  
  


_ The child lifts their eyes from the dust to the stars. Legs broken, hands broken. The only way to rise (to fly) is with new wings of black feathers- _

 

_                     -out of the water into the air _

 

_ Child of stone. Child of the desert. Child with a heart of living kyber. _

  
  
  


_ wake up _

 

_ these are your first steps _

  
  
  


Rey gasped for air like she’d been underwater, staggering backwards out of the room. She tumbled back, landing on her rear with a hard thud that she barely noticed. Her heart was racing, her mind spinning. Every emotion was pumping through her, tears streaming down her face, and she couldn’t tell if she was laughing or sobbing.

 

“What  _ was _ that!?”

 

“Exactly what you think it was.”

 

Rey scrambled up to kneeling as she turned towards Maz’s quiet footsteps. She wiped at her face with her hands, something in her surprised that she  _ had _ hands… that she had a  _ face _ … “That was… that was…”

 

“Leia’s lightsaber,” Maz said firmly. “And her father’s. It likely holds many emotions from both of them.”

 

Rey rubbed her arms and shivered. “I shouldn’t have touched it.”

 

Maz chuckled a little. “I doubt that, child.”

 

Still off-balance, Rey staggered to her feet. Still rambling. Still reeling. “I have to go back… I have to go back to Jakku… I left behind something important-”

 

“Is that what your heart is really telling you?”

 

Rey paused, looking down at Maz. Her mind was still spinning, her heart still aching with feelings that weren’t entirely hers. “I… I don’t…”

 

“I see your eyes, child,” Maz said with a gentle smile. “What do you think I see in them?”

 

Rey was strong. She knew that. Of all her family, she was the one who could endure. She was a fortress, capable of withstanding any storm, but as yet untested. Always she’d done what she could to protect her family, though they rarely let her. Shmi’s heart was too stained with blood to protect anyone. Leia and Luke were unfathomably strong, but purposefully weakened each other to keep the galaxy balanced. Kylo, with his mind of patched-up glass and wires, needed protection the most out of all of them. Even if he never would say so out loud.

 

And then there was the lost one, the one who taught the sisters what death meant...

 

“I can’t hide anymore,” Rey whispered. “I… I’m afraid… but I can’t just hide away while the rest of my family fights.”

 

Maz smiled and nodded. “You can be afraid and still do what you must. The fight with Snoke is not yours… but you already know what your fight is, yes? You and that cute boyfriend of yours?”

 

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. A memory. Sitting next to him on the grass, her hands tucked in the crook of his elbow. His face was so sad… “Ben. We’re- we’re going to bring Ben home, but… I still don’t know how to find-”

 

“What does the Force tell you?”

 

“The sisters don’t know, either-”

 

“No, not the sisters. The Force itself. What is it saying?”

 

Rey closed her eyes, shutting out Maz’s kind face. Her breathing still felt uncertain. She shook off the shadows, the phantom sensation of shackles around her limbs and a mask over her face. In its place came a familiar feeling. Close-knit earth, her mother’s arms around her. Dry, loving hands lightly touching her forehead. “...to be like stone.” Rey frowned, then blinked several times, let her eyes open. “What does that mean?”

 

Maz shrugged. “Perhaps it means you should sit still in one place, and Ben will come to you.”

 

“That would be convenient.”

 

“The Force works in mysterious ways, child.”

 

Rey’s hands were still shaking, even as she pushed herself up to her feet. Maz held the lightsaber out to her, but Rey shook her head.

 

“In… in a little bit. I-I just, I just… I just need… some fresh air.”

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Finn felt her coming back up the stairs before he saw her, turned to watch her cross the room with a dazed look on her face. Kind of like that time Slip had knocked his head during a sim battle.

 

“Rey?”

 

Finn saw her hesitate, saw the flicker in her eyes of someone caught in a corner. “Finn…” Her smile was forced, and barely managed to show up at all. “I...I’m sorry. I’ll tell you everything when I get back. I just need to clear my head outside.”

 

“Yeah,” he said, letting his hands fall to his sides. They felt too empty. He needed to find a blaster, soon. “Sure. Whatever you need. I’ll… wait here for you.”

 

Rey reached out and took one of his hands in both of hers before he even realized what she was doing. Her hands were rough and calloused, but warm. “Thank you.”

 

His head swimming with the touch, Finn nodded, then watched her leave the bustling building. He wanted to turn and glare at the couple of observers that had seemed far too interested in the two of them, but he couldn’t seem to summon the harshness.

 

“What are you staring after, young one?” Maz said, marching confidently, like she owned the place. Which she did, Finn reminded himself.

 

“I was just-”

 

“Nevermind. Just get back where I told you to wait. And take this, while you’re at it.” 

 

Maz hurriedly shoved something into his hands, and Finn froze. He stared down at it, his skin tingling. This… he knew this lightsaber. He’d seen it before, if not with his own eyes. Enough to know what color it would be if he pressed the switch. Blue. Like holding a piece of sky in his hands.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

/I want to follow you, my friend!/

 

“No, BB-8,” Rey tried not to growl at the droid. “I need you to go back to Finn and Poe, alright? Can you take care of them for me?”

 

/I don’t want to be left behind.../

 

Rey hugged her arms to herself. “BB-8, I  _ promise _ you won’t be left behind. I just need some time alone to think and then I’ll come back. Will you let Finn and Poe know where to find me?”

 

The little droid’s head tilted to one side. /You’ll come back?/

 

“Yes.”

 

BB-8 came as close to sighing as Rey had ever seen a non-protocol droid manage. /Alright. I will tell friend Poe and friend Finn where you are and that you will come back./

 

“Thank you, BB-8.”

 

A very small feeling of guilt stung Rey’s lungs as she watched BB-8 roll away through the trees. She let herself feel guilty for a minute as she turned away, heading deeper into the forest. It was understandable, and so she let it stay for as long as it needed to. Then she let it go. Such a small feeling didn’t take long to let go of. BB-8 was terribly worried about being left behind again, like on Jakku.

 

Rey could understand that.

 

The forest fell silent, the calls of birds and insects fading. Rey stopped walking, her breathing the loudest thing she could hear. A shadow had fallen, like a cloud over the sun, but the sky was clear and calm above her. She reached out with all her senses, trying to feel what it was that was approaching…

 

And felt nothing.

 

An absence. A dearth. A void. Nothing. Where there should have been  _ something. _

 

Somehow… it was quieter in the forest than if there had simply been no one there.

 

Carefully, Rey tamped down the dread climbing up her legs and burrowing into her stomach.

 

_ Good thing I sent BB-8 away… _

 

The rustle of leaves, the faint snap of a twig from behind her was the only warning she had. A towering figure stepped out from between the trees as she turned.

 

_ Ah, _ she thought.  _ This must be a dream. _

 

It had to be a dream. What she was feeling and seeing wasn’t possible. There was no one in front of her, nothing alive. But this tall shadow was walking forward, its steps long and heavy, the leaves crunching beneath its boots. Its robes stirred the leaves on the ground in its wake.

 

Run.

 

She didn’t question her instinct. She  _ wanted _ to run from this impossible dark that walked like a person but couldn’t be felt. She took one step. And stopped. Her legs paralyzed beneath her. Her arms, her hands, her lungs… her entire being felt like she’d been turned to stone.

 

This couldn’t be real. This  _ had _ to be a dream.

 

But her heart was pounding, every cell of her body burning with terror as it, the thing, moved around to within her sight, one hand stretched out towards her.

 

“I didn’t expect to find you here,” it said. Its voice was like oil, the filthy, used oil from a machine, dripping and oozing through cracks to settle in spaces where it didn’t belong. Rey fought back a shudder and failed.

 

What was this? This couldn’t be real. This  _ had to be _ a dream.

 

“Where is the map?” it asked. Rey’s mouth went dry. This creature that didn’t really exist was after the map? “The map to the Temple. I was informed it is with a droid.  _ Where is it _ ?”

 

The air around her clenched tighter. Agonized, she struggled against the force pinning her still. Still she couldn’t move, and when she tried to use the Force to push the monster away it shrugged off her attempt and stepped closer.

 

“The  _ map, _ ” it repeated, its voice hollow. “I want it. Don’t make me hurt you to get it.”

 

Rey closed her eyes, desperately wishing the apparition away. Overhead, the roar of a ship’s engine made the trees sway. The wind from its passing whipped through her hair and clothes. A crackling, coughing sound made her open her eyes.

  
The thing was looking towards the ship as it circled Maz’s castle.  “That would be Skywalker,” it said. “How unfortunate. I was hoping to leave before she entered atmo.” It’s head swung back around to Rey, and she flinched again at its dead stare. “Guess we’re doing this the harder way, then. Damn it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “It’s impossible to permanently erase memories.”
> 
> Hux stayed quiet, his face still buried in Kylo’s hair.
> 
> “Altering memory is easy,” Kylo went on, his voice distant and flat. Hux just held on, breathing in the smell of hot metal and smoke and salt. Eventually, Ren would come back. “Weak-minded creatures are particularly open to suggestion. Burying memories is much, much harder, and requires that the subject be willing.” He stopped. “Actually, there is one recorded instance of it succeeding on an unwilling subject. It took several dozen Jedi to subdue the memories of Darth Revan. And they eventually came back… They always do.”


End file.
